Breathing is a beautiful thing
My oh my how teh time passes, summer semester is almost over adn im still alive to tell the tale..what to talk about what to talk about? this whole week ive been trying to take my own words to heart looking at seriously everything trying to find something that wud be a good blog topic and there were some taht were really good..but can i remmeber them now? what do u think would i be rambling like this if i did?
K i think i may have something..as usual we'll see how it goes. So basically as u all know everything i do these days pertains to chemistry. So in my chemistry class my teacher often says "chemistry is a beautiful thing" and when we dont understand or are confused he says "let me explain this to you so ull see that chemistry is a beautiful thing.." hes very into it, its his mantra. recently, as in two days ago on wednesday i was feeling gross,i cudnt breathe my throat was killing me as was my stomache my head, and every two minutes i had to leave class to get a tissue..that night when i was slowly filling the garbage can in my room with tissues i said u know what..breathing is a beautiful thing. being able to breathe and not having to catch that runny nose of mine..that is a beautiful thing. and what reminded me of this is the fact that abt two minutes ago i was drawing a blank trying to get the ideas flowing and then BAM i sneezed and that ws that.Hashem reminded me of where it was that i wanted to go...so that last sentence just got me thinking on a whole new tangent..and im a go with the flow type of gal so we'll jiust ride this out it just may come full circle after all.
as we all know and as ive said so many times we all have the goals in life taht we have. we keep them in our mind taht i want to do this, i want to do that..but then when it comes to tachlis we seem to forget exactly what it was that u wanted to do. its like when ur at home and u get up to go to your room to get something and then when u get there u stand there scratchin ur head trying to remember why it ws that u were in ur room, 'what was it that i wanted to get again? ' we've all experienced it and usually we just go back to what we are doing and then hopefully we remember adn we go back.
i think this is the chazal " bederech she'adam rotzeh molichin bo/lo" not really sure. basically, whichever way it is that we wanna go, thast the way Hashem leads us. its up to decide the destination He'll be the GPS giving us teh directions we need to get to that place. He'll give us reminders when we are diverting off the path..u can sneeze and then ull remeber why it is that u are standing there. He'll give u a little nudge to remind what it is that we are doing in this world what it is taht u REALLY want tobe doing not what teh yetzer hara wants u to do.
i was discussing this with a freind of mine(hey u) about something that ive been struggling with. for a while this thing that i was struggling with was everywhere i went all the time and it was so hard..and at taht point i was resisiting it so much..but the moment i really decided that it was something taht i did not want to be doing ans something that i really wanted to avoid..after a few times this thing virtually disappeared. there was a time when i had to deal with it on a daily basis but once i decided not..Hashem made it taht i barely ever have the nisayon, its something that i dont even encounter ever. the way we wanna go..Hashem leads us..
so i finished chemistry lab this week..and at the end of lab we have to check out. they come to out little cubby thing, we have to pull it all out wash everything take teh labels off and put it on the counter...the TA (teaching assistant) comes around making sure u have everything every beaker, every flask, stirring rod...u get the point and if u dont then u gotta pay they give u a little reciept of the things u need to pay for then u lock up and ur out..u get where im going with this? at thne end of 120 when we sit in front of the Heavenly tribunal.tehy are gonna pull everything out from your drawer..tehy are gonna take everything taht was given to u in this world and they are gonna judge...is it still whole was it broken during the ride..was it used properly?...they do a full acounting and everything better be clean otherwise they send us back..we all want to come to shamayim after 120 with clean neshamos, clean utensils to be able to say that everything that was given to us we are returning whole and clean bcz they were used for teh right purposes..
but we have to make sure..this is what i really want..this is what is important to me ..this is what matters..this is what i am going to sacrifice for..cuz this is what i want! and untill we can say it with that kind of conviction that tho it may be hard and tho its gonna take a lot of effort its what i want then u get no Heavenly help. howeevr, once its clear without a shadow of a doubt that this is the path taht i have chosen this is what is chashuv..this is what matters..thast all Hashem wants from that point on He opens doors for u taht u never thoight possible. He brings u to such heights that u didnt know were ever attainable even existed. But u have to make sure that this is what u want,this is where ur heart lies.u may be able to fool urself, fool others but u cant fool the Master of the Universe. He can see through any smokescreen of doubt, through any facade, He sees the truth so u better want it. u better want it bad to return everything clean and sparkling...cuz without Hashem;s help our fight against the yetzer hara is kinda weak. he has years of experience hes seen it all he knows how to make us sin and we think we're doing a mitzva!thats the point to which he can delude us..its incredible!
so ..before i get too worked up..lets go back to breathing is a beautiful thing..its the small things in life that we forget yet it is exactlty those small things that make life unforgettable. its that smile u get from ur niece, brother, couisn whatever that makes u melt whenever u think abt it..its that extra millimeter on the elbow or collar..its the five secs extra u beg Hashem for teh geula. its teh small things taht matter, its those moments of truth taht no one knows abt mbut u..its that small time frame taht we have to do teshuva with such power and intensity (now and elul btw) its those things taht make us who we are..we have to remeber that breathing is a beaituful thing..and we have to understant otehrwise its not. if we dont undersatndf the logistics behind the scientifiic law then its not a beautful thing cuz we dont understand what it is..we can never fully begin to even fathom to understand the entirety ofTorah or Hashem..but we can know that everuthing He gives us is a beautiful thing..and that if we took the time to notice that the sneeze is supposed to remind us on track..that is a beautiful thing..if we recognize all teh subtle hints everyuday that Hashem loves us ad is guiding us excatly to where we want to go..then thats a beautiful thing..and if we recognize the awesome responsibility that we have to choose that direction and we realize how much power we hold in our small hands..then that is a beautiful thing..
K i think i may have something..as usual we'll see how it goes. So basically as u all know everything i do these days pertains to chemistry. So in my chemistry class my teacher often says "chemistry is a beautiful thing" and when we dont understand or are confused he says "let me explain this to you so ull see that chemistry is a beautiful thing.." hes very into it, its his mantra. recently, as in two days ago on wednesday i was feeling gross,i cudnt breathe my throat was killing me as was my stomache my head, and every two minutes i had to leave class to get a tissue..that night when i was slowly filling the garbage can in my room with tissues i said u know what..breathing is a beautiful thing. being able to breathe and not having to catch that runny nose of mine..that is a beautiful thing. and what reminded me of this is the fact that abt two minutes ago i was drawing a blank trying to get the ideas flowing and then BAM i sneezed and that ws that.Hashem reminded me of where it was that i wanted to go...so that last sentence just got me thinking on a whole new tangent..and im a go with the flow type of gal so we'll jiust ride this out it just may come full circle after all.
as we all know and as ive said so many times we all have the goals in life taht we have. we keep them in our mind taht i want to do this, i want to do that..but then when it comes to tachlis we seem to forget exactly what it was that u wanted to do. its like when ur at home and u get up to go to your room to get something and then when u get there u stand there scratchin ur head trying to remember why it ws that u were in ur room, 'what was it that i wanted to get again? ' we've all experienced it and usually we just go back to what we are doing and then hopefully we remember adn we go back.
i think this is the chazal " bederech she'adam rotzeh molichin bo/lo" not really sure. basically, whichever way it is that we wanna go, thast the way Hashem leads us. its up to decide the destination He'll be the GPS giving us teh directions we need to get to that place. He'll give us reminders when we are diverting off the path..u can sneeze and then ull remeber why it is that u are standing there. He'll give u a little nudge to remind what it is that we are doing in this world what it is taht u REALLY want tobe doing not what teh yetzer hara wants u to do.
i was discussing this with a freind of mine(hey u) about something that ive been struggling with. for a while this thing that i was struggling with was everywhere i went all the time and it was so hard..and at taht point i was resisiting it so much..but the moment i really decided that it was something taht i did not want to be doing ans something that i really wanted to avoid..after a few times this thing virtually disappeared. there was a time when i had to deal with it on a daily basis but once i decided not..Hashem made it taht i barely ever have the nisayon, its something that i dont even encounter ever. the way we wanna go..Hashem leads us..
so i finished chemistry lab this week..and at the end of lab we have to check out. they come to out little cubby thing, we have to pull it all out wash everything take teh labels off and put it on the counter...the TA (teaching assistant) comes around making sure u have everything every beaker, every flask, stirring rod...u get the point and if u dont then u gotta pay they give u a little reciept of the things u need to pay for then u lock up and ur out..u get where im going with this? at thne end of 120 when we sit in front of the Heavenly tribunal.tehy are gonna pull everything out from your drawer..tehy are gonna take everything taht was given to u in this world and they are gonna judge...is it still whole was it broken during the ride..was it used properly?...they do a full acounting and everything better be clean otherwise they send us back..we all want to come to shamayim after 120 with clean neshamos, clean utensils to be able to say that everything that was given to us we are returning whole and clean bcz they were used for teh right purposes..
but we have to make sure..this is what i really want..this is what is important to me ..this is what matters..this is what i am going to sacrifice for..cuz this is what i want! and untill we can say it with that kind of conviction that tho it may be hard and tho its gonna take a lot of effort its what i want then u get no Heavenly help. howeevr, once its clear without a shadow of a doubt that this is the path taht i have chosen this is what is chashuv..this is what matters..thast all Hashem wants from that point on He opens doors for u taht u never thoight possible. He brings u to such heights that u didnt know were ever attainable even existed. But u have to make sure that this is what u want,this is where ur heart lies.u may be able to fool urself, fool others but u cant fool the Master of the Universe. He can see through any smokescreen of doubt, through any facade, He sees the truth so u better want it. u better want it bad to return everything clean and sparkling...cuz without Hashem;s help our fight against the yetzer hara is kinda weak. he has years of experience hes seen it all he knows how to make us sin and we think we're doing a mitzva!thats the point to which he can delude us..its incredible!
so ..before i get too worked up..lets go back to breathing is a beautiful thing..its the small things in life that we forget yet it is exactlty those small things that make life unforgettable. its that smile u get from ur niece, brother, couisn whatever that makes u melt whenever u think abt it..its that extra millimeter on the elbow or collar..its the five secs extra u beg Hashem for teh geula. its teh small things taht matter, its those moments of truth taht no one knows abt mbut u..its that small time frame taht we have to do teshuva with such power and intensity (now and elul btw) its those things taht make us who we are..we have to remeber that breathing is a beaituful thing..and we have to understant otehrwise its not. if we dont undersatndf the logistics behind the scientifiic law then its not a beautful thing cuz we dont understand what it is..we can never fully begin to even fathom to understand the entirety ofTorah or Hashem..but we can know that everuthing He gives us is a beautiful thing..and that if we took the time to notice that the sneeze is supposed to remind us on track..that is a beautiful thing..if we recognize all teh subtle hints everyuday that Hashem loves us ad is guiding us excatly to where we want to go..then thats a beautiful thing..and if we recognize the awesome responsibility that we have to choose that direction and we realize how much power we hold in our small hands..then that is a beautiful thing..
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