In Flight

Sitting on the plane yet again is making me think. In the past three flights in the last week I have yet to have the privilege of sitting in the aisle. The window seat yes, the middle seat (ugh) yes..aisle ..no.  So what is the big deal you may ask? It is only a two hour flight.  True, but the Starbucks run right before boarding does make it necessary to have access to certain facilities. Sitting in the window seat means that if I want to get up, I have to bother my seatmates. If there is one thing that I really don’t like is inconveniencing people. I try to avoid sitting on the plane for as long as possible, so the two other people sharing my row had to get up so I could get to my seat (never mind the time I tried to climb over a sleeping neighbor only to have him wake up mid climb..moving on)

I was thinking how interesting the concept of flying is. You are in a chair in the sky! Think about for a moment. You and about a hundred other strangers are sitting together in a metal box flying through the sky and death defying speeds..and two hours later you have landed thousands of miles away. On a plane there is not much personal space. There are rules of etiquette that must be followed. The guy in the middle seat by default gets rights to the arm rests simply because the poor chap has the misfortune of sitting in the middle we give him that liberty. We have our little pull out tables and they have not yet started charging for mini drinks and snacks.

This is a serious time to work on your bein adam le’chavairo.”  It is soo easy to be obnoxious and annoying. You have very little space. If you are anything like me..you are on very little sleep. The chairs are not comfortable and you just cannot wait to get your feet on solid ground. But people are accommodating. They try to keep their feet to themselves (except for the guy behind me who is sleeping and totally has his feet in my area..but bless his soul he’s sleeping..lucky) They get up for you when you need to get up. In all my years of flying…and believe me ..I have flown a lot and stories I have.  But I have yet to have someone refuse to get up to let me out. That is a big deal I think. I mean you have finally found that one comfortable position, and then this girl makes you move..how rude!

I think the reason we are all so accommodating on the plane is that we are all on the same boat. We are all stuck in this tiny space. Most everyone has had the unfortunate experience of having the middle seat. We commiserate; been there done that. So we are emphatic so we try to make the experience as painless as possible for each other.

Unfortunately, real life is not that charming and kind. Once we all disperse to our own lives and our own cars and hit the highway..let the madness begin. Everyone is cutting each other off. Horns are hocking..people are yelling..no one is getting out of your way. What happened? These are the same people who were sitting next to you half an hour ago..letting you in and out. What  changed?

I think it is that we no longer see each other as people that we can relate to who are in the same boat as us. Once you take away that relatability, the empathizing disappears and I no longer care. I have one person to take care of and that’s me. Today on Lag B’omer  it is especially crucial to think about derech eretz and how we treat the people we see everyday whether we know them or not.

What do you think? Why is it that such a dramatic change occurs? What can we do diminish the shift?

and on a more mundane note...which seat do you prefer..the window or the aisle? why?