Thoughts

I have too much time to think. Sitting on the subway on the way to school, sitting in traffic, waiting to fall asleep, pretending to do homework..all opportunities to think and sometimes its too much. 

We live in an age where distraction is all too easy and all too common. There is a land called Procrastination and I am its queen. I cannot do only one thing at a time. During class,  I have my ipod with me, and I'm constantly checking if someone, anyone is online to talk to. When I do homework I have my music playing, maybe a shiur, chatting with someone else at the same time..I'm always looking to do one more thing. Distraction comes all too easily. 

They tell us that our generation does not think anymore. We just do. Nike makes a fortune off their motto "just do it."

Sprite tells us to "quench our thirst." There is no room for making a calculated decisions. Do it an do it now! The Yetzer Hara's greatest weapon is too keep us too busy. Busy with mitzvos, busy with work busy with anything in fact.The YH wants us to lead with our bodies, not our minds.

The Mesilat Yesharim, and most mussar works as well talk about the seichel. Man is divided into three "sections" we could say. There is the moach-brain, lev-heart (emotions), Kavaid (physicality). Ideally, a man who is standing upright (think stick figure) 

has his head (moach) on top then comes his lev and then his kaveid. This man is a melech (mem, lamed, kaf.) But what happens when this the opposite? What happens when a man leads with his physicality and makes his seichel the last priority- he is a kalaim- he is a nothing.

I recently heard a shiur by R' Itamar Schwartz. He emphasized the importance of emptying the mind. Having "sha'ah shel sheket." He said that we should just sit. No music, no meditation. no thoughts, just sitting and being one with Hashem. This seems like an impossible to task. I need to be doing. I need to be moving. This seems to be  a waste of time. But its not. Its a step beyond thinking. This is what we need to do before we go to sleep, before we daven. After we have sat for long enough, the thoughts will eventually run out. Eventually we can still our mind and just be.

It seems that thinking is a good thing. It is one of the things that differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Animals act on instinct. We do to. We have instincts. Our "neshama" is divided into five levels 

nefesh, ruach, neshama, chaya and yechida. I have only ever learned about the first three.

The nefesh is our base desires, eat, drink, pleasure, basic survival. 

The ruach is a little more elevated. The ruach is our emotions, our passion, when we feel spirituality, when we are inspired..that is the ruach talking. When we say something touched our Neshama..its really the ruach."Imagine a room filled with dancing Chassidim. They are singing and when they reach the climax of the song, all are screaming, “Ki ata hu melech malchey hamlakhim malkhuskha netzach”  “That you God are the King above all kings; Your rule is eternal.”   Their eyes are closed and their bodies bob up and down throbbing with devotion.  They pull you into their circle and you join their dance. You lose yourself in a passionate swirl. You feel that God is everything and your deepest desire is to be loyal and close to Him.  Those feelings are an expression of Ruach."      

The neshama is the highest level of our soul that we will ever internalize. It used to be that people really were in touch with their neshamot. This is no longer true today (except for the few rare individuals.) "This level of soul is felt in the experience of pure thought.  Most of our thoughts are tainted, they are the result of physical biases and emotional inclinations; pure, abstract, moral thought is an experience of Godly intimacy.  The pleasure of comprehending and fully grasping the pure truth of Torah is a bit of Neshama." 

(The chaya and yechida are beyond this world and are rarely internalized by humans.) 

 We don't believe in "being a Jew at heart." We have to do things. But Judaism is not about simply doing, but also being. The Ramchal asks of us to be a Yid. Think like a Jew, walk like a Jew, talk like a Jew. Its something that should be in our pores.  Da'at Torah does not only mean halachic answers. Da'at Torah means you are asking advice from someone whose mind is completely immersed in Torah, therefore his common sense, his advice about moving to city x or y, whether or not to have the surgery, is Da'at Torah. It comes from a place beyond himself, because his mind lives beyond this world. (if that makes any sense)

So this has been a bit rambly, but I am coming to the end. I began saying that I have too much time to think. It would seem from what I have brought down that thinking is a good thing. It is. But our thoughts have to be pure and untainted. Our thoughts have been sullied by the world around us. Our thoughts need to be reflecting da'at Torah, not da'at goyim. So please think. Take the time. Think. But please, let us clean our minds of the dirt so that our thoughts will bring us closer not farther away.  

May any inspiration from this post be l'iluy nishmat Moshe ben Yechezkel and Yehuda leib ben Nachman 

**quotes from www.613.org