וַיְהִי-עֶרֶב וַיְהִי-בֹקֶרי וֹם אֶחָד

**warning-this is a little bit all over the place 

Its pretty cliche.

The concept of light and dark.

Light is Good

Dark is Bad.

A small amount of light can dispel the darkness.

Cliche. Simple.

On the first day of creation G-d created light. He separated the light and darkness and thus there was day and night.

Some people are morning people others night owls. We all have our own time when we excel.

Some of us achieve our greatest accomplishments in the moments of greatest pressure.
The darkness pushes us to be better, to keep moving, to get through to the other side.

Others, cannot be rushed, cannot be pressured. They need to be scheduled and organized, they need the sun and goodness to keep going. Darkness only holds them back.

Me, I have always prided myself on being both a night and morning person (just not an afternoon person.) I can stay up all night or wake up before the sun and accomplish what it is that i need to do. I thrive under pressure.

Day and night. Darkness and light. Circadian Rhythm

The circle of life (cue the music)

I'm sure its been pretty apparent that i am coming out of a dark period. My posts have not been exactly what you call upbeat. But thank Gd, I'm coming along. I am taking charge of my life. I am eliminating destructive habits. Removing memories of my past that continuously haunt me. Being home is therapeutic for me. Being among people who care about me. Being able to devote time to my spirituality.

I'm not sure what my next move will be. I may have to make some really hard choices that will hurt but ultimately be for the best. I don't know. Everything is a more than just a tad bit confusing.

 וְהָאָרֶץ, הָיְתָה תֹהוּ וָבֹהוּ, וְחֹשֶׁךְ, עַל-פְּנֵי תְהוֹם

this is what my life has felt like lately 

I need to study. I need to focus. But i can't. But i need to. I cannot let this consume me. I must poke holes in the walls, crack open the window, punch out a sky light. Let the light flood in. The darkness taught me more about myself than i care to know. I am ready to move on to the day. Ready to begin this new year.

 יְהִי אוֹר

this is my prayer 

We'll see how it plays out.. I'm really trying. Praying Gd helps me get through this.

L'chaim!