whose life are you living?

We get one shot at this world.

One chance to do it right.
One chance to live out all our hopes and dreams.
One chance to see the world, experience all of Gd's beauty and Mastery.
One chance to make a difference
One chance to do it right.

So what happens when you stop living life for yourself?
When your life becomes a series of choices to make someone else happy?
Does that make you a hero?
Does that make you a martyr?
What happens when your choices no longer reflect your inner self? Your mental well being?
Is that just what being a mother is?
Is that what loving someone else is?

At the point when it is no longer about what makes me me happy..rather about what makes other people happy..

When do you cross over from being a loving daughter/wife/mother to a martyr?
What happens when you do?
What happens when you feel guilty for making the decision that will make you happy, the one you know is the best for you...because you know it will absolutely destroy those who care for you?

What do you do when you feel guilty about feeling sad/bad/mad because you know that really you don't have it as bad as others? Really your issues are not that big a deal.

Thank Gd you have people who love you,
who care about you
who want to take care of your
who support you

yet, for some reason
you just feel like crying
because you know that its always going to be someone else who gets taken into consideration before you
you know that your just going to have to suck it up..because a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do

even if it kills her inside

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM

    Intense. I would venture you should live for yourself. Maybe consider escaping to some exotic island and starting anew?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aminspirationMay 13, 2013 at 12:20 AM

      Thats very nice and all..but if that entails hurting those who love you the most..u just cant do it

      Delete
  2. DevorahJune 6, 2013 at 7:20 PM

    Wow...that is such a beautiful post. It really touched me.
    It's tough. (hug)
    And it's a tough balance. Sometimes you need to give in and sometimes you need to be your own person-you need to learn the whens and hows and figure out the whys too...make mistakes sometimes, fall down but always pick yourself up and try again.
    I know it's not easy! It's a battle that CAN be overcome...one step at a time.

    ReplyDelete

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