ya it matters

i was sitting outside watching the rain..thinking how much i would love to just take off and take a stroll right in the middle of the storm. there is just something magical and simply wonderful about walking barefoot bareheaded in the rain. No one is walking slow enough to see your face. It is just you, your thoughts, the droplets washing away any shred of negativity you could possibly have.

i was thinking about the dichotomy of our lives-the dissonance which maintains residence in our thoughts. mine anyways.

I'm often struck by enormity of the world. The universe. The worlds beyond our own. The space we occupy is so minuscule, the word minuscule seems generous. There were worlds before ours. There are galaxies that we have yet to discover. The complexities of our own planet still baffle the brightest human minds. the world is FREAKIN HUGE! and that must mean, that its Creator must be all that much bigger. He is running and orchestrating it all.

But then I also have learned from multiple sources, the most impressionable being the Nefesh Hachaim, which goes into scary detail how not only is Newtons Law that everything in action has an opposite and equal reaction true..but it carries. Beyond our world. It carries to the worlds above and below us. Whether I make my bracha with kavana or not has such immense power that one can literally go insane thinking about it.

So how do we put the two together? This humongous world, in which I am so tiny its laughable...yet, yet, I can make and do make a huge impact, every time i choose not to choose. Every time i choose to act. Every time I strengthen the dissonance in my life. Every time I take a step closer to the bridging the gap.

So when i sit at home all day and just watch TV-its doing something. When I am busy wallowing in self-pity-bingo.

So never think that your not doing anything.

For sometimes, the not doing can have the greatest impact of them all.