Shabbat Alone

 So I did this experiment where I am solo traveling for 2 weeks. The past 10 days I was with someone else and it was a rollercoaster of an adventure. But there was not a minute I had to myself. Last night i checked myself into a fancy hotel and just relaxed and it was amazing. But today, I am approaching shabbat all alone with a bunch of strangers...and i feel the tears welling up. 

I feel isolated because I am different than everyone here. 

I feel dumb that I overpaid to stay somewhere "Jewish" so i could be with others,when i could have stayed somewhere significantly nicer for the same price.

I feel sad that the person that was supposed to come with me backed out. 

Most of all i feel like i screwed up and I am disappointed in myself. 

I'm not sure how i will feel in a few days and I told myself if i really hate it I will go. But i need to try. 

This is scary traveling alone, but i felt like it was something I needed to do. 

I bought myself flowers for shabbat, and hopefully it will be good. 

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