Is it bed time yet?

Wow! i didnt realize what time it was already...ive been studying for my last final..YAY!and time just passed me by...anyways i pulled my first all nighter in a while last night and it felt so comfortable so right like greeting an old friend..(k this is where u laugh at how absurd that sounds..)but seriously its something that i did so many times both in BC and many many many times as a kitchen mad/morsheter..things that year were crazy no time for sleeping.;.is there a point to this walk down memory lane..not sure yet, i was talking to someone this morning while most of u were sleeping and i shudve been.;.and she asked me what i was gonna write about this morning and i told her honestly..no blessed idear! what to write what to write?

yesterday when i was watching teh chofetz chaim heritage video and R' Frand was talking abt economic crisis and the fall of america..etc i was thinking if it was my place to talk abt such things..what does this recession (Almost) mean what does obama care mean to us and what message is Hashem sending us..now no doubt it my mind that these things are important and they do affect us but i came to the conclusion that its not really my place to talk of such things...Rabbanim get on their soapbox and they give mussar..abt the internet..abt facebook..(i know ur smiling.u know who u are)..abt the downfall of the united states..all these major things but i like to hit on things that are a bit more personal to us and a bit closer to home for the average girl reading..

so now that ive finished my diatribe abt what i dont speak abt it..what is it that i am going to regale yoiu with today?
k i think i got something so im gonna run with it(btw isnt it crazy that its already friday?)we've all pulled all nighters at least once and if u havent then ur really missing out(jj) anyways..why is it that we pull all nighters?why is it that we feeel the need to stay up and do something..y dont we go to sleep and do it in the morning.if ur like me its bcz of a few reasons..one uve procrastinated to such a point that there is no more time if u wait to tommorow then there just isnt enuf time to do everything u need to do..two bcz uve got the momentum..uve started to have everything in front of u..uve got the study music,study clothes, study food..ur all set (Anyones whose seen me study in moreshet can attest to this sight) and u just sit and and then u pace but u have everyuthing and u know that if u dont get it done now while everything is set then its never really gonna happen. for mothers it may not be studying but cleaning ouit the attic, u know when ur mother gets that itch (or u for that matter) to clean out that back room..shes gonna stay up all night and do it cuz otherwise she knows taht if she takes a break, if she goes to sleep and breaks the rythm..then its over sh'll never start again so she works thru the night. she knows the consequence..u know the consequence..i know the consequence..pufy eyes too much coffee and ur never quite full..u know what i mean..no matter how much ur still hungry if u dont get to bed..anyways..we've all been there for some reason or another

and we do it cuz its important to me..its something that i value so im goin to work endlessly to get what i wantm what i need. i want a good grade on my test there arent enuf daylight hrs to study so i must dip into the nighttime hours..thats the way it goes..we sacrifice our beauty sleep (somemore than others) to achieve this goal..cuz in the end we know its worth the trouble its worth the tiredness its worth everything cuz its IMPORTANT.

now the real question we have to ask oursleves is : whats important?(u saw taht coming didnt u?) Rabbi Brown always said that if the guy your going out with isnt willing to make himslef mishege and he wont fall asleep til he understands the sugya he's learning then hes not the guy for u..now im not making judgments abt nobody's husbands..just saying that someone who cant fall asleep at night bcz the bais hamikdash is destroyed and taht we are in galus..is someone who values the importance of having the Bait Hamikdash in our lives. someone who cant fall asleep cuz there are jewish kids out there who dont know tehy are jewish..thats someone who its really really important to..im not saying taht if u can sleep at night then u dont wait for mashiach every day..and that u dont care abt the jewish souls out there that are being lost..im just saying that maybe..possibly it doest bother us enuf.

listen BH on a normal night, i sleep, like a baby actually (which is a funny expression if u think abt it) but we've all had those nights when something is bothering us..something thats on our minds taht we just keep tossing and turning thinking trying againt all odds to fall asleep..so this is somethin that ive been thinking abt..we all have our things that we have to work on..we're talking to a friend and we say something sarcastic ...oops- its something i have to work on..your mother tells u to do something then u launch into a whole monologue why u cant she tells u to chill a bit -talk calmly..oops its something i have to work on..its there and it crops up everywhere..yet somehow when we come by erev yom kippur, rosh hashana whenever and we want to compile a list of things to do...we suddenly draw a blank..we think ..im pretty good i do what im supposed to do..im a pretty nice person i listen to my mother usually..im normally good and we forget all those oops that we say during the days of the year..

so the question is how badly did we feel when we said oops? was it something that bothered us? was it somethnig that we really felt that needed a fixin'? something taht is gonna keep us up at night tossing and turning till its resolved? speaking from personal experience id wager that no..we dont i mean i know i dont tahts the only one i can speak for in this monologue of mine. so i propose to myself and anyone else who may think that its something taht may help them in their avodas Hashem..in making themselves holier better people..that next time u catch ur self saying..oops , tahst something i need to be working on..take it down. nowadays we all carry our cell phones with us everywhere we go..so what im gonna suggest is more practical that a notebook..ur phone actually has a handy gagdet called notepad..all phones have it- not only that fancy blackberries..even if u dont which i highly doubt..then u can save it as a text as a draft and keep it saved. then that night..dont go to sleep..stay up letting it drive u meshigeh till u find a solution..till u find a way to make u better to let yoiur neshama shine a bit more..and once u have that solution..then let yourself go to sleep, close ur eyes, lips upturned in a content smile , bcz u know that u have accomplished and u can now go to sleep..
sweet dreams!