to panic or not to panic? that is the question
well well..this is the first time in a long time that im postng from the actual gym btwn holiday season and teh snow..well i just havent been here which is fine for me! but now that im back..now what? well so much has happened this past week..i started school, played endlessley with my blog appearance and now as of five secs ago..my ring broke..this morning i set three alarms to get up ..when the first one went off (at 515) i decided i wasnt gonna do my hair (it fits in a pony now!) so i turned it off then the second one went off i decided no contacts ill wear my glasses thank you very much ( taht also means no make up) turn off alaram and with the last one i decided just to wear a sweatshirt and not actually get dresses turned that one off..and went back to sleep..with what seemed like an eternity later i jumped up..OMG what time is it? i never reset the alarm or snoozed it i just turmed it off..i was panicked as i desperately grabbed for my phone..bh it was only 533..i wasnt terribly behind though i may not have coffee this morn..but imyh ill get to work on time..ten minutes later im out of my room running out to heat up my car..heated up water for coffee thinking that tehre is no way that im gonna have time to make it..but bh i made teh coffee made it here on time..miracles do happen..so whats my point..always a good question..
we get stuck in spiritual slumber...we turn down the wake up calls..saying they dont apply to me..i dont really need that i know it already..i dont need to go to that shiur on tzniut i already know all there is to know..hilchos shabbat..i know that stuff in my sleep..literally so we turn off the wake up calls we ignore the alarms that G-d gives us and we njoy it we all love that feeling of turning off the alarm and rolling over and going back to sleep..going back to sleep has to be one of the best feelings out there- we relish it! but only when we have the luxury of sleeping in and there are no responsibilitues..when i was on vacay my alarm went off 515 mondy morn..and i was so excited to be able to turn it off and go back to shluff land but this morn ..i didnt think of the consequences..i didnt press snooze i pressed delete! and hence my panic! if we ignore the alarms that we are given and we roll back over then we find ourselves panicked! jumping up..how did i get here how did this happen..where am i? what time is it? how did i end up here? we literallu freak out and then we deseperatley seek reassurance that we are not to far gone..and this morning i said modeh ani with great feeling...BH that He woke me up..BH taht regardless of the fact that i turned off all three of my alarms ( ud think that wud be enuf no?) i still managed to get here in time..not exactly looking my best but still here..
and i was typing out my morning i realized that i somehow managed to forget saying bircat hashacahr..i never adn imean never leave my house without saying brachos in the morning i cant daven before i leave my house its too early..so i always make sure that i say brachos so u can imagine my dismay..that i came here ate..drank..surfed the net ..checked emails.. all before prayin and this is what happens when u igmore the signs ignore the alarms..u may be awake and u may be dressed to some degree..(im wearin black tights..sweatshirt over pj top) but this is not who u want to be..this is not the person that u aim to become..we have higher goals for ourselves..we want better ..we know better..yet this is what happens when we arepanicked and rushed into action. we all know the idea that if we dont see Hashem's hand in every day life adn we ignore His intimate involvment with everuday actions then we run the risk of having something really big happening..tsunamis..terrorist attacks..earthqueakes..the earthquake in haiti is getting tonz of coverage as thousands have been declared dead..bodies piling up..the situtaion is horribly pathetic..we're getting that panic call..we r gettin that shock to ur system when ur sleeping then jolt up freaking out that ur late..
if we're lucky its not too late we can still get to where we want to be we can still be somewhat presentable to do what we need to do..but is that wht we want?
when mashiach comes do we want to be scrambling around getting ourlives together so mych that we forget to say tefillas haderech? do we want to be so discombobulated that we are still wearing our pjs? or do we choose to listen to the alarm clock? do we choose to get up the extra twenty minutes early..do your hair..do your make up..look the way that it is that u want to look..get the car nice and warm before u sit in it..have ur coffe made breakfast to go packed..just sitting there waiting for the clock to hit 553 so u can leave? the choice is ours panic? or just listen to the alarm?
we get stuck in spiritual slumber...we turn down the wake up calls..saying they dont apply to me..i dont really need that i know it already..i dont need to go to that shiur on tzniut i already know all there is to know..hilchos shabbat..i know that stuff in my sleep..literally so we turn off the wake up calls we ignore the alarms that G-d gives us and we njoy it we all love that feeling of turning off the alarm and rolling over and going back to sleep..going back to sleep has to be one of the best feelings out there- we relish it! but only when we have the luxury of sleeping in and there are no responsibilitues..when i was on vacay my alarm went off 515 mondy morn..and i was so excited to be able to turn it off and go back to shluff land but this morn ..i didnt think of the consequences..i didnt press snooze i pressed delete! and hence my panic! if we ignore the alarms that we are given and we roll back over then we find ourselves panicked! jumping up..how did i get here how did this happen..where am i? what time is it? how did i end up here? we literallu freak out and then we deseperatley seek reassurance that we are not to far gone..and this morning i said modeh ani with great feeling...BH that He woke me up..BH taht regardless of the fact that i turned off all three of my alarms ( ud think that wud be enuf no?) i still managed to get here in time..not exactly looking my best but still here..
and i was typing out my morning i realized that i somehow managed to forget saying bircat hashacahr..i never adn imean never leave my house without saying brachos in the morning i cant daven before i leave my house its too early..so i always make sure that i say brachos so u can imagine my dismay..that i came here ate..drank..surfed the net ..checked emails.. all before prayin and this is what happens when u igmore the signs ignore the alarms..u may be awake and u may be dressed to some degree..(im wearin black tights..sweatshirt over pj top) but this is not who u want to be..this is not the person that u aim to become..we have higher goals for ourselves..we want better ..we know better..yet this is what happens when we arepanicked and rushed into action. we all know the idea that if we dont see Hashem's hand in every day life adn we ignore His intimate involvment with everuday actions then we run the risk of having something really big happening..tsunamis..terrorist attacks..earthqueakes..the earthquake in haiti is getting tonz of coverage as thousands have been declared dead..bodies piling up..the situtaion is horribly pathetic..we're getting that panic call..we r gettin that shock to ur system when ur sleeping then jolt up freaking out that ur late..
if we're lucky its not too late we can still get to where we want to be we can still be somewhat presentable to do what we need to do..but is that wht we want?
when mashiach comes do we want to be scrambling around getting ourlives together so mych that we forget to say tefillas haderech? do we want to be so discombobulated that we are still wearing our pjs? or do we choose to listen to the alarm clock? do we choose to get up the extra twenty minutes early..do your hair..do your make up..look the way that it is that u want to look..get the car nice and warm before u sit in it..have ur coffe made breakfast to go packed..just sitting there waiting for the clock to hit 553 so u can leave? the choice is ours panic? or just listen to the alarm?
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