have so much to say..not enuf time!

so much so much to say, ive been thinking about this blog the whole week!
i have been taught a cosmic lesson this week, and G-d was trying to tell me something really loudly and i think i finally got the message! this sunday i was subbing at sunday school and i was driving along at my usualy high speed happpily when i got to a light and i noticed a cop behind me..my first thought was ..oh shoot i was for sure speeding..but then his lights werent flsahing or anything so i figuired i was safe but then as i was turnng his lights adn siren went off!as i pulled over i remember thiniking oh man my father is gonna kill me! (he always says taht i drive waaay too fast!) anyways apparently i was speeding 16 miles over the limit..not cool adn aparently the dude in fron t of me was going just as fast but since i was closer to the cop  iwas the one holding the ticket..not fair i know..anyways as a result of this mishap my father made me promise never to go over five over the limit ( that was serious torture ) but ive taken it as a way to practice my patience.

my next lesson in patience came in the form of my bio teacher..she was telling me before when i met in her office that my biggest prob when it comes to her test is that i rush and i dont really readteh questions which is true..so at teh test i was asking her a billion questins and when i was finally done shes like " i want you to read every question and answer one more time before u turn it in..patience is a virtue take it slow.." i was lke ya i know patience is a virtue but hello..i wanna get outta here ( during tests i have no patience if i dont know an answer i dont know it i never sit there deliberating )
(just a total funny btw- shes like, u need to take it slow like if brain (husband who is jewish she isnt) decides to keep kosher then it wud be a slow transformation step by step u cant rush..)

add those experiences to teh constant traffic i have on teh way to school, ya think im being taught a lesson?

i think its incredible how sometimes we wanna work on something, i mean ive been meaning on trying to work on this midda, and i never seem to get around to it, or i dont know how ( i tried self imposing the speed limit thing it worked for like a week) and then when He sees that  man she needs to change that/she really wants to change that..then He helps us out He gives us the opportunity to do so and He pushes us in the right direction, now besides the hefty bill i have to pay (way more than i made that sunday morning) im being forced to do what i want, its like ur friend u doesn't let u eat the chocolate cake, as much  i love going fast (and man do i ) i understand that being a patient person is waay more important than the satisfaction i get from that 20 mins of speeding down teh highway, windows down music up..(im getting nostalgic here)

anyways im not here to relive my troubelsome youth but rather its incredble that once were forced to do something, how much easier it is to maintain than when we put it on oursekves (unless ur the  rebelious type and rules make u run teh other way..) but i think the coolest thing that ive learned from this whole thing is taht for better or for worse as peopel we have an amazing ability to get used to anything. like teh first day after my new resstrictions were put on me, i had to go to work in the morning im used to leaving just in teh nick of time and i speed down teh street (its before 6am theres no one on the roads!) but i rememeberd that now i hd to calculate this new limit into my morning which ment leaving earlier..and the entire time i was gripping the wheel grumbling abt how im drivin like a grandma and theres no oen here adn what in teh world..yea i was annoyed but i had promised my parents..so what choice did i have?

but yesterdy when i was comin home from work going to school and i was cruising along i suddenly felt like i was going fast and then when i looked at teh speedometer i saw i was going BELOW THE SPEEDLIMIT! that is not like me! at all and then it hit me that man i can really get used to anything..if u stick with something long enouigh u can get used to it..not to say that i stil dont have trouble staying within 5 of teh speedlimit but its mucho easier than it was a few days ago. the nature of people, our bodies our minds is that when we are first faced with a challenge, at first it stimulate us, its really hard ( im thinking doing heavy weights/running im at a gym ..) but anything be it a new hair cut, vegan lifestyle, teh number 2 bus.. but eventually when we get into the rourtine it becoems teh norm..and we accomadate for changes in our life and eventually establish homeostasis..

but unfortunately the reverse is true as well. we can out in a sitch that is challenging in a negative way...as in this is not how we liek things..college, a work place sitch..a bad habit we picked up, at first it really bothers us, we cringe, think abt how good it was in israel..but how long does that last? really? does the coillege campus really bother u as much as it did ur first semester back from isreal? probably not bcz of this mechanism we have that can be used for both the positive and negative and we have to be aware of this powerful powerful force taht can lead us in iether direction and we have to make sure that it doesnt lead us to complacency. we must keep in our minds sharp and clear what it is taht are standards are. we cannot for a sec allow ourselves to drop those standards, it is so easy when ur stnadards are so much highre than those u are surrunded by cuz u feel that even if u compromise on  this one thing ur still waay above those peeps..so it doesnt really matter..but that is the yetzer hara talking..and we need to remember that. we need to be constantly upping our game and making sure taht were arent just allowing oursleves to get used to things but proactively making choices abouty our lives..