random thoughts

So people, hows life treating ya? Is it a beautiful day in the neighberhood? wow im tired! but that is nothing new! ive decided that taking marta has become one of the best parts of my day..its such a learning opportunity. in many sense. one is that it gives my actual time to sit and learn a sefer/to study..also in watching what goes on. people are really fascinating and it cracks me how differnt taking marta is to taking the NY metro..lol..people just start talking and becomes BFFs whlist sitting on marta. i cant count the number of times people were talking as i came in and i assumed they were there together but then one will get up..and then they'll be like..oh it was nice meeting youi..have a great day! its amazing i love the south! this guy gave a homeless guy a handshake yesterday..and i was thikning how tat wud never ever ever wud happen in the big apple..anyways yesterday this blind guy comes onto marta and this other dude that was sitting there popped ouitta his seat and gave it to him. mind yoiu this is at 530..its the end of the day peopel are tired after a long day of work and all they want to do is sit and by the looks of this guy-he was a painter- he mustve been exhausted yet he realized that he needed to do the right thing..he got up!

so what is it that makes us great? what it is that makes us G-d like? what is it that we are doing this sefira? how do we become the light that we are supposed to be to the nations? how is it that we can inspire people just by living our daily lives?

what comes to mind are two qoutes from Rabbi Brown-1: u have to make the decision to be more than meidocre..to make the decision is in itself greatness
2: for everythingh that u refuse to, the things taht u wud never even think of doing..there are ten people out there getting paid to do it.

my signature line in my email is "what are u living for?" and sometimes people get thrown by this..i had a girl in my class last semster give me the whole answer abt what she was douing in college and etc...and im like woman u missed the point..what it si that we are living for? what is the purpose of our existance?were here to be kadosh, to be mekadesh shem shemayim and everything taht entails...we are supposed to be the light to the nations..easiuer said than done

during sefira we are actively counting towards our religious freedom, the moment in history when we chose to keep teh Torah and we bound oursleves to the nation and Hashem in a very real and meaningful way, in a way that can never be reversed and how do we do this? by workin on our middos by perfecting our bain adam lechavayro..by being better people ..by making today a better day than yesterday an working on making tom better than today..

there was a rav i forget which who wud do teshuva everday on his avodah of the previous day cuz he didnt know Hashem as well as he did now so his avodah was lacking..every tefilla is suipposed to be a diferent experinec, not just a replay of yesterday. is my life twenty years of experinece or is my life one experienec twenty times?

what is it that determiones that im on the right path? how do i determine that im doing the right thing? what tells me that im way off..what steers me back to the right direction. when i was on marta i was thinking how nice it was that people are nice, making the world a better place..and its nice to have reminders that kindess is appreciated. but it aslo reminds me taht if im people watching on marta..everyone else is also..they maybe sleeping..or they just be closing their eyes to avoid ur glance..but what ever it is people are watching

now this may matter or not..yea people are watching but are they gonna remember you or not? thats up to you..its up to you to be a walking kiddush hashem, make the world a little sunnier or cloudier (chas v'shalom) here when u walk by someoen on shabbat u say "good shabbos!" or shabbat shalom whatever even if u dont know the person. and if  u happen to walk by some people jogging..u say good morning bcz everyone is deserving of recognition..when u walk by someone u shud validate their existance..say thank you to the bagger at the grocery store..the lady who works at teh front desk..give a smile to stranger..this may sound cliche...but its truly amazin how far it can go!

ive been telling stories abt my marta peeps forevr, they are inspiring and humorous at times but they hae def made a differnec in my life and maybhe yours..so then imagine the impact that u ..a jewish girl a light shining within you taht can be spread to teh world..all we have t do is channel that light and shine it thru a prism which is our life and watch as it fills teh world with color and happiness..(corny sounding i know..lol)

sorry this post hasnt been a real flow..but its somethinsg to think about..