what are u made of?
this morning i came to work as usual, and it was raining cats and dogs so i expected that no one wud show but as usual my morning crew came in rain or shine and some even not so regulars came in, why? they were determined to work off that cheesecake..and i was thinking how that contrasted to losing the spiritual gain oif this auspicious time of the year. why is it that its so easy to lose that spiritual high that which u worked so hard to achieve (see previous post) u sweated toiled to get to that climax, and that BAM before you know it, ur back to regular life and it all kinda slips away, a pleasant memory if that. but somehow when u work so hard to shed those few pounds, all it takes is one bite of cheesecake, "halla bread" and then its back, u have to work eons to get it off..even coming at 6 am in the crazy rain to do so (k these peeps are super devoted...)
and now as im writing i see how its the same thing, really, the concept of working really hard to get something and then losing it so easily weather the loss is an actual physical gain ( ie.weight) or a spiritual loss..falling in madrega. the hardest is when u have all this time, shabbat afternoons are long, yuntif is long, there are these long stretches of time and even if u nap, at the end of the day..how much can you really sleep ( i know i cant believe im saying it, but there must be a limit...) so we fill the time, talking, eating and as has been said "idleness is the devil's playground" on so many levels, so many. we all know that as girls we talk, and ive noticed that you know what, guys talk also, it may not be so easy to hold a conversation with your brother on the phone for very long, yet somehow when ur all sitting around on the couch, there are very few silences. talking, unless its divrei torah (and who are we kidding, when were hanging with our friends, were not saying divre Torah..) can lead to treacherous waters even if uve been learning A Daily Companion faithfully for years..its still hard.
and then there is the food, its amazing how often we confuse hunger with boredom, and even if at the meal u resisted the temptation to eat that cookie, when its staring at you all afternoon, eventally u and i both know that we are gonna give in, i mean uve been good for three hours right? u can have it now..
idleness is the devils playground, it just breeds trouble, and the yetzer hara pounces on it, in Rav Pincus's sefer on shabbat he says how amazing it is that shabbat can be the most unholy, nonspiritual day of the week. ur so tired from all week, right after the meal u fall asleep, (hes talking to men in his sefer) u barely make it for minyan, skipping most of pesukai dezimra to catch up, u read some artscroll stuff during Torah reading, catch a snooze during the sermon, after the heavy cholent what option do we have but to go to sleep..and then u wake up for a shiur (maybe) before mincha, seudat shlishi and there u have it, the holiest day of the week gone before you know it. he says how bochrim, avreichim, who spend hours and hours during the week learning-on shabbat when the potential for learning is exponentially greater than that of during the week- they go to sleep, spend maybe two hours during the course of the entire 25 hr period learning.
the Satan knows the power of the day and does everything he can to make sure we don't utilize it, he makes sure that we are distracted (kinda like on purim) he knows the greatness the heights we can achieve on shavuot, on shababt, so he busies us, makes sure we are otherwise occupied as those precious moments slip out the back door unnoticed..
yet no matter how hard he tries, we did make some kind of spiritual growth, we actively chose the Torah, we said naasheh v'nishma, we accepted the most precious gift imaginable. it was me, you, your friend and your husband or in my case, my friends' husband. it was us here in 2010, who took it upon ourselves. but the question is how do we keep it from slipping away, how do we maintain it? and the classic answer to that is that you have to take something tangible from it, you have to take the inspiration min hakoach el hapoal, we've all heard this and obviously i don't disagree. but i believe that this year, in this particular case we have a unique opportunity presenting itself. we have an amazing juncture, were not just going from yom tov to regular hum drum life when losing the inspiration is so easy cuz u have to go back to life to so fast, there is no time to rest and digest.
but we have shabbat, tonight (crazy i know) and this is exactly what we need, long hours, lots of time. which can be so damaging but so productive if used properly. this is exactly what we need to internalize what it is that we did yesterday and the day before that. its what we need to correct the wasted hours of yesterday, this is our opportunity to shtuch (shtech) the yetzer hara to prove to him that our time can be used correctly and that we can bank in on the great spiritual power that is available to us in these precious hours. and we know that there is no greater pleasure than doing something someone tells us we cant do..so there is nothing better than showing up the yetzer hara..
Shavuot was the time to show that we do want this, this is the person i want to be, i want to change, i am accepting upon the Torah personally upon ourselves..but how do we concretize it? this is the G-d given chance, these precious holy hours that are coming up to do exactly that, to show Hashem that we aren't all talk, that it isn't just one night but this is our life, this is what we have devoted ourselves to..and we are showing that we aren't willing to let it all slip between our fingers, so close yet so far? no thank you, we want it to be close, and to keep it close!
so take this shabbat, and use it to prove the yetzer hara wrong, show him that ur made of tough stuff..show him that u CAN use the hours properly..that u CAN keep the inspiration and u CAN become a better person. so don't waste this shabbat, make it all real, make it you!
and now as im writing i see how its the same thing, really, the concept of working really hard to get something and then losing it so easily weather the loss is an actual physical gain ( ie.weight) or a spiritual loss..falling in madrega. the hardest is when u have all this time, shabbat afternoons are long, yuntif is long, there are these long stretches of time and even if u nap, at the end of the day..how much can you really sleep ( i know i cant believe im saying it, but there must be a limit...) so we fill the time, talking, eating and as has been said "idleness is the devil's playground" on so many levels, so many. we all know that as girls we talk, and ive noticed that you know what, guys talk also, it may not be so easy to hold a conversation with your brother on the phone for very long, yet somehow when ur all sitting around on the couch, there are very few silences. talking, unless its divrei torah (and who are we kidding, when were hanging with our friends, were not saying divre Torah..) can lead to treacherous waters even if uve been learning A Daily Companion faithfully for years..its still hard.
and then there is the food, its amazing how often we confuse hunger with boredom, and even if at the meal u resisted the temptation to eat that cookie, when its staring at you all afternoon, eventally u and i both know that we are gonna give in, i mean uve been good for three hours right? u can have it now..
idleness is the devils playground, it just breeds trouble, and the yetzer hara pounces on it, in Rav Pincus's sefer on shabbat he says how amazing it is that shabbat can be the most unholy, nonspiritual day of the week. ur so tired from all week, right after the meal u fall asleep, (hes talking to men in his sefer) u barely make it for minyan, skipping most of pesukai dezimra to catch up, u read some artscroll stuff during Torah reading, catch a snooze during the sermon, after the heavy cholent what option do we have but to go to sleep..and then u wake up for a shiur (maybe) before mincha, seudat shlishi and there u have it, the holiest day of the week gone before you know it. he says how bochrim, avreichim, who spend hours and hours during the week learning-on shabbat when the potential for learning is exponentially greater than that of during the week- they go to sleep, spend maybe two hours during the course of the entire 25 hr period learning.
the Satan knows the power of the day and does everything he can to make sure we don't utilize it, he makes sure that we are distracted (kinda like on purim) he knows the greatness the heights we can achieve on shavuot, on shababt, so he busies us, makes sure we are otherwise occupied as those precious moments slip out the back door unnoticed..
yet no matter how hard he tries, we did make some kind of spiritual growth, we actively chose the Torah, we said naasheh v'nishma, we accepted the most precious gift imaginable. it was me, you, your friend and your husband or in my case, my friends' husband. it was us here in 2010, who took it upon ourselves. but the question is how do we keep it from slipping away, how do we maintain it? and the classic answer to that is that you have to take something tangible from it, you have to take the inspiration min hakoach el hapoal, we've all heard this and obviously i don't disagree. but i believe that this year, in this particular case we have a unique opportunity presenting itself. we have an amazing juncture, were not just going from yom tov to regular hum drum life when losing the inspiration is so easy cuz u have to go back to life to so fast, there is no time to rest and digest.
but we have shabbat, tonight (crazy i know) and this is exactly what we need, long hours, lots of time. which can be so damaging but so productive if used properly. this is exactly what we need to internalize what it is that we did yesterday and the day before that. its what we need to correct the wasted hours of yesterday, this is our opportunity to shtuch (shtech) the yetzer hara to prove to him that our time can be used correctly and that we can bank in on the great spiritual power that is available to us in these precious hours. and we know that there is no greater pleasure than doing something someone tells us we cant do..so there is nothing better than showing up the yetzer hara..
Shavuot was the time to show that we do want this, this is the person i want to be, i want to change, i am accepting upon the Torah personally upon ourselves..but how do we concretize it? this is the G-d given chance, these precious holy hours that are coming up to do exactly that, to show Hashem that we aren't all talk, that it isn't just one night but this is our life, this is what we have devoted ourselves to..and we are showing that we aren't willing to let it all slip between our fingers, so close yet so far? no thank you, we want it to be close, and to keep it close!
so take this shabbat, and use it to prove the yetzer hara wrong, show him that ur made of tough stuff..show him that u CAN use the hours properly..that u CAN keep the inspiration and u CAN become a better person. so don't waste this shabbat, make it all real, make it you!
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you know what to do....