Refine your palate
The Magic Touch by Gila Manolson was widely popular when i was younger as I am sure it still is among teenagers who are struggling with the halachot of shomer negiah.Touch is a powerful that can be used in magnifecent ways to bring people closer, sometimes closer than need be. According to halacha males and females are not allowed to touch before marriage, especially when dating and according to my engaged/married friends- man is it hard to keep those halachos while one is engaged! but the abstinence of touch is what provides for the magic of it when it happens, it makes the first time a chosson and kalla hold hands so much more meaningful. Now i don't have any of that kind of experience but there are times in college when a guy will tap me on the shoulder or touch me in one way or another, and i am acutely aware of what is happening. its not the magical sparks between a man and his wife, but bcz the halachot of shomer negiah play a role in my life, then i am 100% aware of the fact that a member of the male species is touching me, whilst it never crosses his radar, he probably never even noticed that he was because it is not something that he is sensitive to.
absence makes the grow fonder, is what they say anyway. and yes, its true, when you are apart from someone, you become sensitive to the fact he/she is not there, you start to cherish the moments that you do have together. compare the relationship you have with your in-town(by in-town i don't mean Brooklyn) friends as opposed to your friends who don't live in your city. you don't relish the moments you have with your friends that live near you, because they are always around, yes they may be your closest/oldest friends but it loses some of its magic when it becomes the norm. it doesn't seem as special when its always there. (I'm not saying that they are not important or special).
when one separates from a person, a place or even an action, we develop sensitivities towards it. when i was in seminary and there was no access to movies/TV i didn't even realize how sensitive i had come to these things till i started going to the gym in Israel and the was a soap opera playing and i when the two romantically involved characters started to kiss, i flinched and turned away. It was instinctive, bcz i had become sensitive to it while i had separated from it. when a person stops eating dairy then his body stops making the lactase enzymes needed to deal with it, so if after an extended period of time he decided to eat a slice of pizza, hes going to feel it, for his body has become sensitive to it.
we live in a world entrenched with immorality, deceit, material pursuits it has in short become the devils playground.. with the advent of technology freeing up time people have become uber creative in ways to waste time, and they usually don't produce such values that we as moral, upstanding people espouse. however, this is the world that we live in, and because we live in it we have become de-sensitized. Compare walking down Manhattan two days after coming off the plane after a year in Israel, to a walk down Manhattan now, years later. There is no comparison. and we all know that we have become desensitized and part of it is a coping mechanism, for if we were to notice every shmutyz sign the way we did when we first got back we'd go crazy! but now we just walk by, ignore it and move on with our lives.
yet we must make sure that we have not become callous, that with the world news telling us daily of the catastrophes occurring around the world, we haven't lost our emotion, our caringness for others. too many of us have become cynical to the plight of others, due to the scores of con artists out there we don't pause to consider that maybe his need is legitimate.we just walk by, muttering to ourselves trying to convince ourselves that its fine that i just ignored a human being, turned my heart cold to his pleas.
to be sensitive to something is to be aware of it. we need to be sensitive to life, sensitive to the great beauty that surrounds us. the person who has been on a diet for two years will relish a piece of cake more than your average person. and at the same time, a wine connoisseur is just that because he is sensitive to the different flavors, the textures, the smells of the different wines. he may be exposed to a lot of wine but he has not become indifferent to it, with each passing glass he has a finer palate, he is adding to his education. each glass of wine is whole new experience which he savors and delights in the subtle differences.But he makes sure that he only partakes of the best. He does not sully his taste buds with cheap wine, for that would dull his senses. He is makpid that only the best enters his glass, for otherwise he knows that he will lose his discerning taste.
we need to be connoisseurs of life. we need to take it in, all of the wonder that is surrounding us everyday.to take every sunrise, every blue sky and regale it is magnificence. we need to appreciate the subtle sensitivities that make today different than yesterday. to be able to see the world is constantly being re-created every single second, to be able to appreciate the fine detail in which the world works..that is someone who is a connoisseur of life. and like the connoisseur we need to make sure to partake in only teh finest. to be apart of things that are worthy of someone as discerning as us. to involve ourselves in activities that will refine not dull the sharp sensitives of the neshama. some have to abstain, to separate in order to be appreciative of the sensitivities, the subtleties..but the connoisseur takes every second and uses that to refine his palate.
Le'chayim!
absence makes the grow fonder, is what they say anyway. and yes, its true, when you are apart from someone, you become sensitive to the fact he/she is not there, you start to cherish the moments that you do have together. compare the relationship you have with your in-town(by in-town i don't mean Brooklyn) friends as opposed to your friends who don't live in your city. you don't relish the moments you have with your friends that live near you, because they are always around, yes they may be your closest/oldest friends but it loses some of its magic when it becomes the norm. it doesn't seem as special when its always there. (I'm not saying that they are not important or special).
when one separates from a person, a place or even an action, we develop sensitivities towards it. when i was in seminary and there was no access to movies/TV i didn't even realize how sensitive i had come to these things till i started going to the gym in Israel and the was a soap opera playing and i when the two romantically involved characters started to kiss, i flinched and turned away. It was instinctive, bcz i had become sensitive to it while i had separated from it. when a person stops eating dairy then his body stops making the lactase enzymes needed to deal with it, so if after an extended period of time he decided to eat a slice of pizza, hes going to feel it, for his body has become sensitive to it.
we live in a world entrenched with immorality, deceit, material pursuits it has in short become the devils playground.. with the advent of technology freeing up time people have become uber creative in ways to waste time, and they usually don't produce such values that we as moral, upstanding people espouse. however, this is the world that we live in, and because we live in it we have become de-sensitized. Compare walking down Manhattan two days after coming off the plane after a year in Israel, to a walk down Manhattan now, years later. There is no comparison. and we all know that we have become desensitized and part of it is a coping mechanism, for if we were to notice every shmutyz sign the way we did when we first got back we'd go crazy! but now we just walk by, ignore it and move on with our lives.
yet we must make sure that we have not become callous, that with the world news telling us daily of the catastrophes occurring around the world, we haven't lost our emotion, our caringness for others. too many of us have become cynical to the plight of others, due to the scores of con artists out there we don't pause to consider that maybe his need is legitimate.we just walk by, muttering to ourselves trying to convince ourselves that its fine that i just ignored a human being, turned my heart cold to his pleas.
to be sensitive to something is to be aware of it. we need to be sensitive to life, sensitive to the great beauty that surrounds us. the person who has been on a diet for two years will relish a piece of cake more than your average person. and at the same time, a wine connoisseur is just that because he is sensitive to the different flavors, the textures, the smells of the different wines. he may be exposed to a lot of wine but he has not become indifferent to it, with each passing glass he has a finer palate, he is adding to his education. each glass of wine is whole new experience which he savors and delights in the subtle differences.But he makes sure that he only partakes of the best. He does not sully his taste buds with cheap wine, for that would dull his senses. He is makpid that only the best enters his glass, for otherwise he knows that he will lose his discerning taste.
we need to be connoisseurs of life. we need to take it in, all of the wonder that is surrounding us everyday.to take every sunrise, every blue sky and regale it is magnificence. we need to appreciate the subtle sensitivities that make today different than yesterday. to be able to see the world is constantly being re-created every single second, to be able to appreciate the fine detail in which the world works..that is someone who is a connoisseur of life. and like the connoisseur we need to make sure to partake in only teh finest. to be apart of things that are worthy of someone as discerning as us. to involve ourselves in activities that will refine not dull the sharp sensitives of the neshama. some have to abstain, to separate in order to be appreciative of the sensitivities, the subtleties..but the connoisseur takes every second and uses that to refine his palate.
Le'chayim!
This is so true! It's very hard to make sure we stay sensitive and don't get affected by the negative aspects of the secular world around us.
ReplyDeleteHey SternGRad! thanx so much for visiting and commenting! its a life long challenge striving to remain pure in a filthy world.
ReplyDeleteShomer Negiah is one of those mitzvot that generally gets thrown out the window, unfortunately. For some strange reason, I believed that after a year or two of post-high school study in Israel, people really shaped out and had greater respect for the laws of Negiah. B"H there are people who do, but boy was I disappointed when I realized how many people just went back to "life as usual" upon leaving seminay/yeshiva as if their year(s) of learning were purely for kicks.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
its really hard for most people to maintain what they achieved in Israel and its amazing (sad really) to see where people fall too after they come back from such a high.
ReplyDeletethanx so much for commenting it made my night!