Are you dealing?
Choices make up every minute of our lives. We choose when to get up, if to get up, how to get up and what to do when we get up..and thats just the first minute of the day! we make big decisions, small decisions, decisions that matter and some that do not. Along the way we are apt to make the wrong choices but at the end of the day, the choices are in our hands. We are bochrim and as such we choose, and hopefully we choose life. we choose to live, how we live is just commentary. The choice to live is the biggest decision we ever make, and we choose to LIVE the second we choose to be above mediocre. The split second we choose to strive for something higher than ourselves, to make ourselves better than we are now- that is choosing life.
In choosing to strive higher it is inevitable that there will be struggles along the way. There will be moments of extreme difficulty, moments that are seemingly easy, moments that seem to turn everything you ever thought you knew about anything upside down. With the advent of difficulty comes the opportunity for achievement and by default the opportunity for failure. Sometimes we will soar in the face if the conflict and others we will fail magnificently. each of these outcomes present there own nisyonot.
the danger of achieving the goal is in thinking that "ive arrived" its the feeling one has after she's finished her last final. I'm done, i can veg out now...Nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to spiritual growth. whilst one still on the high from his last victory it is imperative to take the momentum that comes with that victory to help him overcome the next battle. how often do we not run to catch the train bcz "im too tired another one will be here in a few minutes.." we don't take advantage of the opportunity for excellence because we are too tired from the last run, we forget that if we stop now we will lose all the momentum and it will be all that much harder to start again from the beginning.
the most difficult challenge with failure is not that the goal was not accomplished per se, rather the catastrophic ramifications that may arise in the aftermath. Despair often sets in when we work hard at something, when things just do not seem to be going our way. we give up in ourselves, in the world in all of humanity and Chas V'shalom in Hashem. Rabbi Brown always said, you never meet a person after despair. Thats usually the end of the line for them..BH usually its not THAT bad. If something hurtful happens most people get a low dosage of depression. They turn anti-social, wallowing becomes a favorite activity (imagine ben'n'jerrys rocky rd, box of tissues and some serious chick flicks) and that may be a day or two and then the recovery happens. Usually..hopefully. We have a choice, to wallow or to live; to give in to the pain or to put on a brave battle face and march on. Fake it till you make it -thats the saying right?
we can choose to allow life to pass us bye, with us in the sidelines living in the past, or we can choose to pick ourselves up and force ourselves to deal. the strength of will power is incredible. It has no bounds! if you really really want to get up and move on, you can force yourself out of bed, out of pjs, into the shower and out of the house! but this is only when we really truly want it. you can cajole yourself into doing anything, after all no one knows you better than you!
yet, the battle is not over yet. for though we have chosen to live, we have chosen to force ourselves to deal with this situation and move on as much as we'd like to ignore it till it goes away on its own accord. however, merely dealing is not sufficient. dealing is not solving. yes, ur not wallowing in your room nursing a broken heart, yes you have chosen to 'deal' and live life as usual..dealing is not the end of the line. No one wants to be dealt with, tell someone that you dont really wanna talk to em..but u can handle dealing with em...to say they wont be please would be the least of it. can u imagine if someone said that they wud be willing to put up with you...not cool not cool!
so yes, recovery is a process, and yes dealing alone is difficult we cannot allow it to become an end rather than a means. it is part of the journey, it is part of becoming a healthier, better person. Dealing is difficult and requires its own recognition but only if it brings us closer to solving, if it brings us closer to being complete and happy. for merely dealing is never a happy state. we want more we want to achieve and grow, we want to live and if we get stuck in the dealing stage we will never accomplish. we will remain stagnant at best.
strive!
In choosing to strive higher it is inevitable that there will be struggles along the way. There will be moments of extreme difficulty, moments that are seemingly easy, moments that seem to turn everything you ever thought you knew about anything upside down. With the advent of difficulty comes the opportunity for achievement and by default the opportunity for failure. Sometimes we will soar in the face if the conflict and others we will fail magnificently. each of these outcomes present there own nisyonot.
the danger of achieving the goal is in thinking that "ive arrived" its the feeling one has after she's finished her last final. I'm done, i can veg out now...Nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to spiritual growth. whilst one still on the high from his last victory it is imperative to take the momentum that comes with that victory to help him overcome the next battle. how often do we not run to catch the train bcz "im too tired another one will be here in a few minutes.." we don't take advantage of the opportunity for excellence because we are too tired from the last run, we forget that if we stop now we will lose all the momentum and it will be all that much harder to start again from the beginning.
the most difficult challenge with failure is not that the goal was not accomplished per se, rather the catastrophic ramifications that may arise in the aftermath. Despair often sets in when we work hard at something, when things just do not seem to be going our way. we give up in ourselves, in the world in all of humanity and Chas V'shalom in Hashem. Rabbi Brown always said, you never meet a person after despair. Thats usually the end of the line for them..BH usually its not THAT bad. If something hurtful happens most people get a low dosage of depression. They turn anti-social, wallowing becomes a favorite activity (imagine ben'n'jerrys rocky rd, box of tissues and some serious chick flicks) and that may be a day or two and then the recovery happens. Usually..hopefully. We have a choice, to wallow or to live; to give in to the pain or to put on a brave battle face and march on. Fake it till you make it -thats the saying right?
we can choose to allow life to pass us bye, with us in the sidelines living in the past, or we can choose to pick ourselves up and force ourselves to deal. the strength of will power is incredible. It has no bounds! if you really really want to get up and move on, you can force yourself out of bed, out of pjs, into the shower and out of the house! but this is only when we really truly want it. you can cajole yourself into doing anything, after all no one knows you better than you!
yet, the battle is not over yet. for though we have chosen to live, we have chosen to force ourselves to deal with this situation and move on as much as we'd like to ignore it till it goes away on its own accord. however, merely dealing is not sufficient. dealing is not solving. yes, ur not wallowing in your room nursing a broken heart, yes you have chosen to 'deal' and live life as usual..dealing is not the end of the line. No one wants to be dealt with, tell someone that you dont really wanna talk to em..but u can handle dealing with em...to say they wont be please would be the least of it. can u imagine if someone said that they wud be willing to put up with you...not cool not cool!
so yes, recovery is a process, and yes dealing alone is difficult we cannot allow it to become an end rather than a means. it is part of the journey, it is part of becoming a healthier, better person. Dealing is difficult and requires its own recognition but only if it brings us closer to solving, if it brings us closer to being complete and happy. for merely dealing is never a happy state. we want more we want to achieve and grow, we want to live and if we get stuck in the dealing stage we will never accomplish. we will remain stagnant at best.
strive!
I like this. Great post. Dealing with life is like merely existing, not living. And don't we all want to live?
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