Fidldling With the Right Thing

Elul is here, its that time of year, Rosh Hashana is coming near..
(those are the only words of the song i remember if you do know the words please feel free to leave em in the comment box or email me)

Its the time of year when we re-connect with our Father and make all of our "New Year's Resolutions"
and we are all familiar with the concept that we need to take on something small, not too big something really easy and then maybe we have a chance of actually committing to it.

but what to change, there a millions of small changes we can make on the road to perfection. we are so far from finished with our avoda that the sign isn't even on the highway yet. were still looking for it. so what do we choose, how to pick what to fix?

last night i was having issues with my web cam. what else is new right? but it was so strange because i finally got it to turn on but then it was upside down or sideways i wasn't sure exactly what was going on, so I'm messing with the position of the camera, messing with the settings on the computer trying to figure out how in heavens to get it to position properly.

when finally it dawned on me, i was moving and messing with the wrong camera. the blessed camera was not even connected to my computer. and here i was spending at least 15 mins trying to figure out why i was getting such an obscure picture. when i set up the camera (that was connected) right side up-TA DA clarity and function.

lesson is clear as well. we can change all we want but if we are not changing the right things then its kinda useless. Like moving around a camera that is not connected and wondering why in heavens it was giving such a strange picture ( serious pineapple moment) Mrs. Tarshish made this statement when i was in seminary. yes we need to make small change. yes we cannot take on huge kabalot. But we have to make sure that we are treating the disease not the symptoms.

we have to sit and thing what is it that i am doing wrong. What are my shortcomings? and once that is clear we need to dig deeper. what is it that is the source of that? Why am i behaving the way that I am? once we have discovered what it is that is the source, then can we make a change in that regard. change the center and everything else should fall into place (slowly but eventually.)

if someone cannot stand to be corrected, hates being stood up. they make a kabbala to speak nicer, to have more patience..but if the root of all that is an innate arrogance..then treating the symptoms may make them go away for a bit but they will come back, with the wound festering all the while getting all that much worse because its not being treated.

we need to take the time, to sit,meditate, and contemplate ourselves. to really really get to know ourselves. and armed with this knowledge we can make kabalot that will lead to real change!

may we have a productive Elul, and seek Him all of our days.