I'm Sorry!
What does it mean to be sorry?
Sorry is one of those phrases that has been over used and sadly enough has begun to lose its power. It does not have the meaning that it is supposed to have. It doe not hold the weight it once did.
Think about it, we say sorry all the time. I say sorry to inanimate objects for heavens sake. Just think about the number of times you say sorry on a daily basis.
Sorry I interrupted you
Sorry I deleted that file
Sorry I sat in your spot
Sorry, but i really have to go now..
the list is endless...
the idea of this post came to me tonight as i was washing my nth sink full of dishes. I had finally finished for the night, or so i thought. My mother was saying krias shema-shes not doing any more cooking..but yet she managed to find a few more dishes that had escaped the wrath of my sponge. "Sorry" she said as she dumped those escapees into the sink to meet their doom.
i have no doubt that she felt bad that i was still washing dishes...she is my mother and she loves me. She doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. but how sorry was she? obviously not that sorry...cuz if it really bothered her she would not have given me those last few pieces (not saying that my mother did anything wrong!)
but it got me to thinking...what does it mean to be sorry? To be honestly, truly sorry?
Tomorrow is Rosh Hashana. We are going to stand in judgement before the King of Kings. We are going to have every single moment of our year analyzed. Every thought, every action, every word and every step is going to be scrutinized.
We had this whole month, and now we have precious few hours to tell Him that we are sorry. We did not mean it. We have less than 20 hours before us, to tell Him how much we love Him. To tell Him, that we would never hurt Him on purpose. To tell Him that we are sorry for the distance that we created between us. for that is what every sin does, it creates disconnection and separation between us and our dear Father.
But the question is, are we sorry? Does it really bother us? Does it hurt us that we are not that close with our Father? or are we OK with the way the relationship stands? Are we OK with the ATM relationship we have with our Father who loves for us defies description?
and maybe it does bother us. maybe the way the relationship stands is uncomfortable for us. but how uncomfortable? how much does it bother me?
the way i see it, saying sorry is saying that you want it to be different and these are the steps that i am going to take to ensure that it does happen. Saying sorry mean that i am not indifferent. It means that i care enough, it hurts me enough that i am going to make a change. I am going to make it better.
there are many levels of teshuva. There is teshuva m'ahava, teshuva m'yira. and then there is the teshuva that you want to want to want to change and everything in between. But even at that lowest level there is still a cheshek, a ratzon , a will! to make a change to make a difference. That is what sorry means. so when you do the three steps of teshuva, you have to admit what you did, then u say you are sorry, but then you have to prove that you are sorry..how am i gonna make sure this doesn't happen again? (kaballa la'atid)
when we stand before Him tomorrow night, and we cry (or we try to cry) and we beg and we plead for the Master of the World to give us life, we tell Him that We are sorry that we messed up last year, but give us a chance and we'll show you that this year is gonna be bigger and better...
we have to make sure that we really are sorry, cuz if you don't believe it..He definitely ain't gonna believe it!
Sorry is one of those phrases that has been over used and sadly enough has begun to lose its power. It does not have the meaning that it is supposed to have. It doe not hold the weight it once did.
Think about it, we say sorry all the time. I say sorry to inanimate objects for heavens sake. Just think about the number of times you say sorry on a daily basis.
Sorry I interrupted you
Sorry I deleted that file
Sorry I sat in your spot
Sorry, but i really have to go now..
the list is endless...
the idea of this post came to me tonight as i was washing my nth sink full of dishes. I had finally finished for the night, or so i thought. My mother was saying krias shema-shes not doing any more cooking..but yet she managed to find a few more dishes that had escaped the wrath of my sponge. "Sorry" she said as she dumped those escapees into the sink to meet their doom.
i have no doubt that she felt bad that i was still washing dishes...she is my mother and she loves me. She doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. but how sorry was she? obviously not that sorry...cuz if it really bothered her she would not have given me those last few pieces (not saying that my mother did anything wrong!)
but it got me to thinking...what does it mean to be sorry? To be honestly, truly sorry?
Tomorrow is Rosh Hashana. We are going to stand in judgement before the King of Kings. We are going to have every single moment of our year analyzed. Every thought, every action, every word and every step is going to be scrutinized.
We had this whole month, and now we have precious few hours to tell Him that we are sorry. We did not mean it. We have less than 20 hours before us, to tell Him how much we love Him. To tell Him, that we would never hurt Him on purpose. To tell Him that we are sorry for the distance that we created between us. for that is what every sin does, it creates disconnection and separation between us and our dear Father.
But the question is, are we sorry? Does it really bother us? Does it hurt us that we are not that close with our Father? or are we OK with the way the relationship stands? Are we OK with the ATM relationship we have with our Father who loves for us defies description?
and maybe it does bother us. maybe the way the relationship stands is uncomfortable for us. but how uncomfortable? how much does it bother me?
the way i see it, saying sorry is saying that you want it to be different and these are the steps that i am going to take to ensure that it does happen. Saying sorry mean that i am not indifferent. It means that i care enough, it hurts me enough that i am going to make a change. I am going to make it better.
there are many levels of teshuva. There is teshuva m'ahava, teshuva m'yira. and then there is the teshuva that you want to want to want to change and everything in between. But even at that lowest level there is still a cheshek, a ratzon , a will! to make a change to make a difference. That is what sorry means. so when you do the three steps of teshuva, you have to admit what you did, then u say you are sorry, but then you have to prove that you are sorry..how am i gonna make sure this doesn't happen again? (kaballa la'atid)
when we stand before Him tomorrow night, and we cry (or we try to cry) and we beg and we plead for the Master of the World to give us life, we tell Him that We are sorry that we messed up last year, but give us a chance and we'll show you that this year is gonna be bigger and better...
we have to make sure that we really are sorry, cuz if you don't believe it..He definitely ain't gonna believe it!
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you know what to do....