A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.

Friends are the family we chose

 So this is something that I've been thinking about writing for a long while. The topic of friends is one that has been spoken about on numerous levels. Who your friends are? How to deal with your friends? Do you keep your friends after you get married? Etc.. I myself have written about it on numerous occasions on the importance of  having a good svivah. The people you surround yourself with really make a difference in who you become. The way people speak, walk, eat and even how they have fun all really affect you. I've noticed in myself that i pick up people's expressions really quickly and their mannerisms shortly after. But as I just mentioned..I've said all of this already. 

What i really wanted to emphasize how important just having friends is in a person's life. I saw this quote on friendship that i did not so much agree with

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."

For me friendship is necessary, it is a must. Friends fall into the needs not the wants category. Friends help you get through the day when you rather do anything but. Friends are the ones who hold your hand when it seems that no one else believes in you. Friends are the people you chose to trust. They are the ones that you have decided to let into your life and they you. When its an active choice, the feeling is so much deeper , the connection so much stronger. 

Having a friend is more than just someone you hang out with. Yes, its fun to hang out with friends no doubt, but its more than that. A friend is someone who inspires you to grow and be better. A friend is someone who makes you want to be a better person just because. You care for a friend the way you do yourself. You feel responsible for her spiritual growth and physical health as much as your own if not more. You take it personally when someone is rude to your friend. You are in a bad mood when your friend is going through a rough time. 

The Mishna (i think) says that a person is lucky if he has one good friend in his life. Having a friend is not easy and requires you to be a "friend a friend would like to have." It requires work and dedication. Friendship may be something that starts spontaneously and unexpectedly but it does not deepen on its own. It is an investment, a worthwhile one at that. It requires time, effort and even sometimes tears and hopefully a lot of laughter.

A friend helps you see things that you may not want to see about yourself. She is one that shows you how great you could be and loves you even if you never get there. A friend is one that encourages and pushes. She sometimes knows your mind better than you. 

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

She is one that helps you clarify your thoughts when you are too muddled in it to see past the moment. She knows when you need to be called when you cannot bring yourself to dial and knows when to stay silent and listen when you cannot hear anything at that point.

Friends are a precious commodity. Cherish the ones you have. Tell them how special they are to you, for even if they know it..its still nice to hear sometimes.