The honeymoon
It can't last forever.
The honeymoon is a magical time. the chatan and kalla are still in that infatuated stage. Nothing can ruin their happiness. They are together and no one will begrudge them any level of mushiness and PDAs that would be considered inappropriate any other time or circumstance. After Sheva Brachot, they have the transition time of Shana Rishona. But eventually the magic comes to a screeching halt when they both have to get up and go to work early in the morning. At the end of a long day, they both sit down to dinner, exhausted and drained. They still love each other. He just does not have the strength or energy to wow her with his divrei Torah and neither does she have the time to cook elaborate five course meals. They lie in bed, not yet falling asleep. They think to themselves, what have we become? We used to sit for hours talking and laughing. We used to go out for hours every night always thinking of new things to discover and do. Now what? we barely hold a conversation before we hit the sack! Does that mean that what we had before was not real? Where we are is soo far from where we were?!
The truth is that the honeymoon is not meant to last forever. It does have a purpose. It is there to allow you to build the relationship. Every relationship needs that special time to develop and flourish. It needs special attention, for it is fragile at its earliest stages. So we do give the couple the special time of Shana Rishona. But then, once we trust the relationship to stand on its own two foot so to speak..we move into real world mode. It does not mean that they do not need date night anymore, just that real life means that you cannot expect that things will be the same as they were when you were dating.
The ultimate relationship is between Hashem and us. We are the Kalla and He the Chattan. It seems that in this galut that our relationship had been laid to the side. We remember the stories that we learned in school. The open miracles which He performed for our ancestors..where are they? Have we been left alone? But it just means that we have moved on from the honeymoon. We still talk everyday. We still send that random text here and there to make Him "smile" but its not Yom Kippur. Its real life. Its not the honeymoon.
But we have something so much more special. We have a weekly anniversary. We have a weekly commemoration with Him. Shabbat is when we get dressed in our finery The candles are lit and the table is set with only the best. We sit, sing and talk. Shabbat is the source of blessing. The day Hashem recreates the world, yet again, just for us. A special time just for us to sit together and discuss all the things that are important.We may no longer be in Shana Rishona mode but what we have is so much more special, so much more meaningful. We have history. We can celebrate that we have stuck it through together through hard times as well as the good. We can celebrate weekly what we have had and what we will have.
Not only do we have Shabbat, we have our Yomim Tovim. We know that our holidays are not just an anniversary. We are not just remembering..we are reliving. We have to feel on pesach as if it was us who were being tortured. As if we were the ones who walked across the Yam Suf. We have the opportunity to go back to the honeymoon and feel the warm fuzziness that comes with PDAs. It was US Hashem smote the Egyptians for. It was US Hashem split the sea for. US! Me, you..US!
So as we sit together this Monday night and go through the hagaddah remember that Hashem who saved us so many years ago..is saving us everyday in ways we could never imagine. He gives us the gift of life everyday. He saved OUR lives, and we have the ability to reach the spiritual heights they reached. We know that what a maidservant saw at Yam Suf, Daniel Hanavi did not ever see. We have the ability to reach those heights in a few short days. But we have to prepare. What we put in is what we get out!
May we reach the levels of the maidservants on the night of the seder and may we feel the love of a Chatan and Kalla on their honeymoon, for that is exactly what this is. Rather, these are the dating days. The days when you have dated long enough to know that this is the one..and its only a matter of time. The days of pesach leading to Shavuot are the engagement and Shavuot is the wedding. So enjoy the dates and look out for the texts and the PDAs because I promise..they are there.
may any inspiration from this post be a zechut for a refuah Sheliaima for R'AVIGDOR ASHER BEN GOHAR
The honeymoon is a magical time. the chatan and kalla are still in that infatuated stage. Nothing can ruin their happiness. They are together and no one will begrudge them any level of mushiness and PDAs that would be considered inappropriate any other time or circumstance. After Sheva Brachot, they have the transition time of Shana Rishona. But eventually the magic comes to a screeching halt when they both have to get up and go to work early in the morning. At the end of a long day, they both sit down to dinner, exhausted and drained. They still love each other. He just does not have the strength or energy to wow her with his divrei Torah and neither does she have the time to cook elaborate five course meals. They lie in bed, not yet falling asleep. They think to themselves, what have we become? We used to sit for hours talking and laughing. We used to go out for hours every night always thinking of new things to discover and do. Now what? we barely hold a conversation before we hit the sack! Does that mean that what we had before was not real? Where we are is soo far from where we were?!
The truth is that the honeymoon is not meant to last forever. It does have a purpose. It is there to allow you to build the relationship. Every relationship needs that special time to develop and flourish. It needs special attention, for it is fragile at its earliest stages. So we do give the couple the special time of Shana Rishona. But then, once we trust the relationship to stand on its own two foot so to speak..we move into real world mode. It does not mean that they do not need date night anymore, just that real life means that you cannot expect that things will be the same as they were when you were dating.
The ultimate relationship is between Hashem and us. We are the Kalla and He the Chattan. It seems that in this galut that our relationship had been laid to the side. We remember the stories that we learned in school. The open miracles which He performed for our ancestors..where are they? Have we been left alone? But it just means that we have moved on from the honeymoon. We still talk everyday. We still send that random text here and there to make Him "smile" but its not Yom Kippur. Its real life. Its not the honeymoon.
But we have something so much more special. We have a weekly anniversary. We have a weekly commemoration with Him. Shabbat is when we get dressed in our finery The candles are lit and the table is set with only the best. We sit, sing and talk. Shabbat is the source of blessing. The day Hashem recreates the world, yet again, just for us. A special time just for us to sit together and discuss all the things that are important.We may no longer be in Shana Rishona mode but what we have is so much more special, so much more meaningful. We have history. We can celebrate that we have stuck it through together through hard times as well as the good. We can celebrate weekly what we have had and what we will have.
Not only do we have Shabbat, we have our Yomim Tovim. We know that our holidays are not just an anniversary. We are not just remembering..we are reliving. We have to feel on pesach as if it was us who were being tortured. As if we were the ones who walked across the Yam Suf. We have the opportunity to go back to the honeymoon and feel the warm fuzziness that comes with PDAs. It was US Hashem smote the Egyptians for. It was US Hashem split the sea for. US! Me, you..US!
So as we sit together this Monday night and go through the hagaddah remember that Hashem who saved us so many years ago..is saving us everyday in ways we could never imagine. He gives us the gift of life everyday. He saved OUR lives, and we have the ability to reach the spiritual heights they reached. We know that what a maidservant saw at Yam Suf, Daniel Hanavi did not ever see. We have the ability to reach those heights in a few short days. But we have to prepare. What we put in is what we get out!
May we reach the levels of the maidservants on the night of the seder and may we feel the love of a Chatan and Kalla on their honeymoon, for that is exactly what this is. Rather, these are the dating days. The days when you have dated long enough to know that this is the one..and its only a matter of time. The days of pesach leading to Shavuot are the engagement and Shavuot is the wedding. So enjoy the dates and look out for the texts and the PDAs because I promise..they are there.
may any inspiration from this post be a zechut for a refuah Sheliaima for R'AVIGDOR ASHER BEN GOHAR
That's a really good comparison.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are moments of inspiration...flashes of sparkling lights that come back - may we all be able to feel it!
amen and thanks
ReplyDelete