He's Waiting
I never thought I would be lonely. There have been rare occasions in my life until now that I have experienced such a sense of loneliness. There is no one to talk to when I get home at night. I can't call my parents and complain about how hard it is because they'll just take it harder than me and feel worse that I am so far away from home.
There is no one to give me a hug when I'm down. There is no one to make me dinner when I'm just too tired to cook. There are no left overs in the fridge to just grab. There is no one around to bounce ideas off. There is no one to ask if my outfit looks good. These shoes or these? No one to offer solicited or unsolicited advice. There is no one to practice blood pressure on. No one's eyes I can look into with my ophthalmoscope.
I never felt the need for Facebook till now. I considered it for a second, should I sign back in? That tells you how desperate I've been for some sense of social interaction. I spend all day studying and then its off to class for a few hours and then I'm back home..my roommate is already sleeping. I call my family and wish them a good night...and that's that.
Being alone brings down your inhibitions. There is no peer pressure. No annoying little sister to ask you if your really going to have another piece of cake!? Are you really going to watch that? I thought you stopped that?! It also makes you incredibly selfish. I don't help anyone get ready for shabbat. I just kinda rock up a few hours before the Holy Day make myself pretty..and that's it. Nothing more. I only take care of myself. There is no one to discuss the day with. No one to complain to how frustrating the professor is..or how creepy that guy on the train was...
Loneliness is not a good feeling.
Last night I went to Avinu Malkeinu. It was a great event. Fabulous speakers
Rabbi Reisman said something really powerful that I have heard before. I have even blogged about it. It was so apropos because I was planning on writing this post for a while and Hashem gave me the answer last night.
There is never any reason to feel alone. We are never alone. Any believing Jew who believes in the Omnipresence of the Almighty, our dear Father in Heaven, knows that he is always with us. Always. He is always ready to hear our sorrows. He is always there to listen to us complain about the test that just was not fair. He is also there to hear about the good days. He wants to hear our jubilation on doing well on that murder test. He wants to hear it all. We just have to let Him in. We have to make Him part of our lives.
Now, I cannot take G-d's blood pressure or His pulse ( i am going to find real humans to practice on..please everyone volunteer) and we do need human interactions. We are not meant to be alone. We do have so many halachot that deal with bein adam lechaveiro exactly for this reason..We need people. One day..I'll find some..but for now..its comforting to know that I can talk to Him anytime of day. There is no time difference. He does not go to sleep..ever!He works on our time. He is ready. He is never too busy. He is waiting by the phone..waiting for me to call.
Do you really want to keep the Master of the World waiting?
There is no one to give me a hug when I'm down. There is no one to make me dinner when I'm just too tired to cook. There are no left overs in the fridge to just grab. There is no one around to bounce ideas off. There is no one to ask if my outfit looks good. These shoes or these? No one to offer solicited or unsolicited advice. There is no one to practice blood pressure on. No one's eyes I can look into with my ophthalmoscope.
I never felt the need for Facebook till now. I considered it for a second, should I sign back in? That tells you how desperate I've been for some sense of social interaction. I spend all day studying and then its off to class for a few hours and then I'm back home..my roommate is already sleeping. I call my family and wish them a good night...and that's that.
Being alone brings down your inhibitions. There is no peer pressure. No annoying little sister to ask you if your really going to have another piece of cake!? Are you really going to watch that? I thought you stopped that?! It also makes you incredibly selfish. I don't help anyone get ready for shabbat. I just kinda rock up a few hours before the Holy Day make myself pretty..and that's it. Nothing more. I only take care of myself. There is no one to discuss the day with. No one to complain to how frustrating the professor is..or how creepy that guy on the train was...
Loneliness is not a good feeling.
Last night I went to Avinu Malkeinu. It was a great event. Fabulous speakers
Rabbi Reisman said something really powerful that I have heard before. I have even blogged about it. It was so apropos because I was planning on writing this post for a while and Hashem gave me the answer last night.
There is never any reason to feel alone. We are never alone. Any believing Jew who believes in the Omnipresence of the Almighty, our dear Father in Heaven, knows that he is always with us. Always. He is always ready to hear our sorrows. He is always there to listen to us complain about the test that just was not fair. He is also there to hear about the good days. He wants to hear our jubilation on doing well on that murder test. He wants to hear it all. We just have to let Him in. We have to make Him part of our lives.
Now, I cannot take G-d's blood pressure or His pulse ( i am going to find real humans to practice on..please everyone volunteer) and we do need human interactions. We are not meant to be alone. We do have so many halachot that deal with bein adam lechaveiro exactly for this reason..We need people. One day..I'll find some..but for now..its comforting to know that I can talk to Him anytime of day. There is no time difference. He does not go to sleep..ever!He works on our time. He is ready. He is never too busy. He is waiting by the phone..waiting for me to call.
Do you really want to keep the Master of the World waiting?
:) I really like this post. And I know the feeling. Feel free to chat me up on gchat anytime, I am up late as a general rule. *Virtual hug* Hope the feeling passes.
ReplyDelete