Pride
The ego is a fragile thing.
A blow to the ego is just that..a blow and it hurts.
It can be the most seemingly insignificant thing. Objectively, really its not that important. If we were detached, it would not matter. But we aren't so it does.
If you think about it, things that hurt us the most is when our pride is slighted. I didn't get invited. I didn't make the grade. She didn't call me back. He said no.
Its the moments when we are hit with the harsh reality that we are not good enough. I didn't study hard enough. I was not pretty enough. Not interesting enough.
Of course, how we view "reality" may not be the truth at all. When we are down, the yetzer hara pounces. It exacerbates everything. It turns everything in your head. You see yourself as this unloved victim. If they really loved me, if i was really worth anything, this would not have happened.
We all get in these "moods" when all we want to do is sulk. We cannot move beyond the despondency of the moment. So we start to think about every unpleasant thought you've stored away and the image gets progressively dimmer.
These moments pass. We get through the dark to the light of tomorrow.
The thing that I have found most useful is at those moments when you feel the most lonely. Through the darkest moments when it seems that you are the low of the low and no one cares...Hashem does.
Its those moments that are so defining in our relationship with our Father.If don't reach through the pain and connect with Him then when will we connect? When will we develop this seminal relationship?
I cannot believe that Elul is here already. We have a few short days before the day of Judgment. If we take the time now to talk to Him, to engage Him in our lives..then come judgment day, we are not standing in front of a harsh Judge rather we are sitting with our kindly Father who knows our struggles, who has been our confidante. He knows the pain we've been through. He knows how much we tried before we failed. He knows because we told Him. and that, that, makes all the difference.
Wishing you an inspirational Elul.
A blow to the ego is just that..a blow and it hurts.
It can be the most seemingly insignificant thing. Objectively, really its not that important. If we were detached, it would not matter. But we aren't so it does.
If you think about it, things that hurt us the most is when our pride is slighted. I didn't get invited. I didn't make the grade. She didn't call me back. He said no.
Its the moments when we are hit with the harsh reality that we are not good enough. I didn't study hard enough. I was not pretty enough. Not interesting enough.
Of course, how we view "reality" may not be the truth at all. When we are down, the yetzer hara pounces. It exacerbates everything. It turns everything in your head. You see yourself as this unloved victim. If they really loved me, if i was really worth anything, this would not have happened.
We all get in these "moods" when all we want to do is sulk. We cannot move beyond the despondency of the moment. So we start to think about every unpleasant thought you've stored away and the image gets progressively dimmer.
These moments pass. We get through the dark to the light of tomorrow.
The thing that I have found most useful is at those moments when you feel the most lonely. Through the darkest moments when it seems that you are the low of the low and no one cares...Hashem does.
Its those moments that are so defining in our relationship with our Father.If don't reach through the pain and connect with Him then when will we connect? When will we develop this seminal relationship?
I cannot believe that Elul is here already. We have a few short days before the day of Judgment. If we take the time now to talk to Him, to engage Him in our lives..then come judgment day, we are not standing in front of a harsh Judge rather we are sitting with our kindly Father who knows our struggles, who has been our confidante. He knows the pain we've been through. He knows how much we tried before we failed. He knows because we told Him. and that, that, makes all the difference.
Wishing you an inspirational Elul.
I agree that when we are down, our feelings of being inadaquate are intensified. That's the nature of being down. everything looks worse than it is. And when we get slighted or rejected, the pain is sharp. But dawn breaks and everything looks brighter with a new perspective.
ReplyDeleteIt's so true.
ReplyDeleteAlso, when you go through something painful and you feel rejected, remember that Hashem will never throw you away no matter what! It's such a comforting feeling to know He's always there for you.
thanks devorah, that was a mistake
ReplyDeleteand your right, if someone believes in Hashem, really believes..what a happy life he would live.
But it really is amazing how time helps. When we are low, we think we will feel low forever, and then a few weeks pass and we can barely remember why we were so down.
ReplyDeletetill the next thing comes around..and again you feel like it will never end.
ReplyDelete