Now what?

Its the end of the year. 

Its that time when some days are eerily quiet and some days and insanely chaotic. 

Finals are done, papers turned in, and books put away. 

Its time to sleep. Its time to put the coffee back on the shelf. 

I never thought the semester would finish. I never thought it could possibly be as difficult as it was. 
There were so many moments when i thought there was no way i was going to finish. So many times i was plagued with self doubt. So many times i wondered if i may the right choice. 

Every test was accompanied with a whispered prayer. 

Chasdei Hashem. I passed the semester. I have set myself up for another semester of this strange form of torture.But not everyone in my class was so blessed. 

So many hours spent studying. How many gallons of coffee drunk in effort to stay awake. How many sleepless nights?How many family functions missed? How many friends estranged...all for what?

Nothing to show for it. 

The number of people taking finals diminished daily. 

What do they do? Where do you go after your dream slips through your fingers? 

Do you have what it takes to pick yourself up and try again? Do you reapply and start over? Do you wallow in self-pity? Do you pick a different career? Do you take it as a divine sign that it was not meant to be? Do you have the self-confidence to commit yourself completely to something other path that may not work out? Do you have the strength to apply yourself with the same intensity you did last time?

Or will you put on a brave face and try to piece your life back together only to live your life in black and white instead of in technicolor? Will lackluster be the one word that describes you?

What would you do? Where would you go after everything you've worked for ever ends up in failure? How would you cope?

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 28, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    We all have enough issues to worry about. Spending time on "what-ifs" can be very self-destructive. It's nice that you care about other people but you shouldn't spend too much time dwelling on other people's problems.

    ReplyDelete
  2. aminspirationDecember 28, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    I was thinking more in terms of knowing yourself. I was not dwelling on other people's problems. It is something that is important to think about just as a reflective exercise. What kind of person am i? What would i do? I think there is validity in pondering these points.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CymbalineDecember 29, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    No - you worry about the what ifs when thney happen and spend your time thinking abt the what is actually happenings. Like it's better to focus on studying for the test than to worry about failing it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DevorahJanuary 3, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    I can't even fathom. That would be so so much to deal with. When everything you build up and work towards crumbles down so fast...that would be more than devastating. Not sure if I can even find the right words.
    It would mean a lot of digging deep inside me and figuring out where I want to go from here and what to do next. I don't know if I'd be able to do all that...

    I'm so happy you passed!

    ReplyDelete
  5. %Shocked%January 9, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    Loved this post. Again, it spoke to me.

    With a little bit of complicated experience on the subject, I can say this: it's not easy. Well, I could say a lot more, but I'll leave it at that lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. bffJanuary 10, 2012 at 1:10 AM

    Hi, thanks for posting - good question. Related to what we have to look forward to:

    http://beyondthefaceoffacebook.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/dear-chronic-daters-part-ii-my-new-home/

    ReplyDelete

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