It makes all the difference

I grew up outta town and only recently left. As a result my bais Yaakov education differ vastly from the "typical" BY school

Shocked commented on my last post that perhaps the shidduch crisis is our fault. We feed into it. We perpetuate unreasonable expectation and inane priorities. It's true. Too often girls don't know why they want. They get fed in seminary that Kollel is the only way to go. They are raised that if u look a certain way then you are frum otherwise-Hashem Yerachem

I was listening to Rabbi Orlofsky  a while ago and he made a seminal point " don't be frum be kadosh"
And I think that makes all the difference.

Rabbi Kelemen has a story about his son. His son was nicknamed "kadosh" one day on a long bus ride from Yerushalayim to Netanya three yr old "kadosh" needed to go to the bathroom ten minutes into the ride. It was an express bus and was stopping for nothing and no one. They managed to get to Netanya and raced to the bus station's restroom- it was closed.

The kids start dashing down the boardwalk running in and out of stores looking for an available restroom. Finally thy found one in a bar. So they are about to usher kadosh in when he asks- abba- what's a bar?" Rabbi Kelemen explained in three yr old terms. Kadosh said " I can't go in there! I'm Kadosh!"

This three year old was not being frum. He wasnt worried about shidduchim. He was kadosh and he knew that this was not a place for him.

Kedusha is something that we have lost sight of. We are so busy with all the rules, the mitzvot, the latest "guidlines" that we forget why it is that we are doing all of this!

What war are we fighting!? Why is it that maybe TV should be limited. Why is it that we have to b careful what we listen to and how we talk and where we walk.

I'm sure that Rav Ovadia doesnt listen to beiber because his daughters wont get good shidduchim. Rav Elyashuv didnt read people magazine because what will the neighbors say.

When life becomes a search for kedusha, then you view the world completely differently.
I don't want to read that because it will further my neshama from it's source. I don't wear that because it's distracting from my true purpose.

A non-observant guy in my class asked me recently why it was that I don't use swear words. He didn't believe that it was possible. I explained that a daughter of a king there are certain standards that are expected. Using crude and vulgar language is not kedusha. It's distancing oneself from the refined people we strive to be.

Lately in the media there has been a lot of stories about orthodox Jews doing things that let's just say are less than complimentary. And everyone always says- but he is a frum guy..
They say he's frum bcz he looks like he's frum, he wears what he should comes to shul his kids go to the right schools. But is this man kadosh? Is this man living his life in order to achieve greater connection with G-d!? I would have a hard time believing that

Kedusha is not easy. It takes work. But it will never come until we want it and actively pursue it.

How many of us can really honestly say that kedusha is the dream?

Let's make that our dream. Let's make that number one on the list. How you get about it may be different. It may be not reading novels on Shabbat. It may mean being more careful about our language. Kedusha can permeate every single aspect of our lives if we let it.