Relationships are complicated
Relationships are complicated
Simple enough right?
But somehow we all ( or at least I ) want to somehow simplify them. He loves me he loves me not. She respects me she doesn't. It matters it doesn't. Things are never black and white. This world is a world of gray.
We'd like to think that if you truly cared about someone then you'd never hurt her or even subconsciously try to get even. We'd like to think that we would always make time for those who we love.
But alas, love is never simple. Love alone does not conquer all. It takes more than that. It takes dedication and work. Relationships are built on a foundation of both laughter and tears. Relationships come with time and time brings a plethora of situations. Some which will bring you closer some which may put distance. But distance makes the heart grow fonder, hence it is that same distance which will make you stronger, more solid.
Living in the moment can be wonderful and simaltaneouesly horribly destructive. I'm an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Things get to me. Situations hurt me. Abandonment destroys me. I feel intensely.
So when something happens that i perceive as painful..I stew in it. I let the pain and the hurt wash over me as I sit and contemplate and analyze every single thing. And because I believe in openness and honesty in a relationship I'll let the person know exactly how it is that I feel.
That's not always the best idea. If I just let myself cool down and approach it logically I'll see that I am blowing this way outta proportion.
I tried it. As I was leaving school something happened that I perceived as hurtful and neglectful. The whole way home on the train I was wording together emails I would write expressing how I felt - it was quite eloquent - point is I decided not to actually put pen to paper ( or finger to touch screen ) I got home ate something watched something and tada.. All better. No need to explode with emotion. I can handle it. Maybe.
I often think with my heart not my head. I thank Gd that I dont have an angry temperament just an emotional one.
It's a hard balance in relationships. Honesty, but you don't want to hurt the person because you care deeply for them. Whats a girl to do?
Simple enough right?
But somehow we all ( or at least I ) want to somehow simplify them. He loves me he loves me not. She respects me she doesn't. It matters it doesn't. Things are never black and white. This world is a world of gray.
We'd like to think that if you truly cared about someone then you'd never hurt her or even subconsciously try to get even. We'd like to think that we would always make time for those who we love.
But alas, love is never simple. Love alone does not conquer all. It takes more than that. It takes dedication and work. Relationships are built on a foundation of both laughter and tears. Relationships come with time and time brings a plethora of situations. Some which will bring you closer some which may put distance. But distance makes the heart grow fonder, hence it is that same distance which will make you stronger, more solid.
Living in the moment can be wonderful and simaltaneouesly horribly destructive. I'm an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Things get to me. Situations hurt me. Abandonment destroys me. I feel intensely.
So when something happens that i perceive as painful..I stew in it. I let the pain and the hurt wash over me as I sit and contemplate and analyze every single thing. And because I believe in openness and honesty in a relationship I'll let the person know exactly how it is that I feel.
That's not always the best idea. If I just let myself cool down and approach it logically I'll see that I am blowing this way outta proportion.
I tried it. As I was leaving school something happened that I perceived as hurtful and neglectful. The whole way home on the train I was wording together emails I would write expressing how I felt - it was quite eloquent - point is I decided not to actually put pen to paper ( or finger to touch screen ) I got home ate something watched something and tada.. All better. No need to explode with emotion. I can handle it. Maybe.
I often think with my heart not my head. I thank Gd that I dont have an angry temperament just an emotional one.
It's a hard balance in relationships. Honesty, but you don't want to hurt the person because you care deeply for them. Whats a girl to do?
While I stew, and overanalyze, and feel pain acutely, I consider myself logical, but I differ in that I stay quiet. I can't express myself; I shut down.
ReplyDeleteYet funnily enough that works. If the other person has any brains they know they did something hurtful, and when you don't take them to task they start feeling terrible. It's beautiful to watch.
Sometimes if one says something they feel terrible, but since you voiced it they want to downplay it and get defensive. Staying silent works all around.
it works for some..but it just builds inside me..and it just gets worse..i have to get it out somehow
DeleteWow...this is SO good and so true. I feel like you could be me...and this could be me talking. Emotions and relationships are definitely complicated.
ReplyDeleteWishing you lots of hatzlacha dealing with whatever you are dealing with...and strength through it too.