I know that my posts lately have been a little depressing you could say. I have gotten a few worried emails. Life is hard. School is hard. That is the way its suppose to be. No one ever pretends that life will be easy. Its a fight. Against ourselves; our emotions, our habits, against inertia. Making the right choice, deciding what is exactly the right choice in that moment, deciding to continue making the right choice when its not really what you want is difficult to say the least.
The key to making it in this crazy messed up world is to surround you with people you love you, support you and maybe provide you with positive peer pressure to help you maintain your standards.
Sometimes we are lucky enough to have that and it makes it much easier to tread through the murkiness of life. And sometimes we don't and its harder. to say the least. The test is different then. You have to approach things differently. You grow in a unique way that can only happen when you fight your own fight without any one's support.
the cliche mashal is that of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.
you cannot help the butterfly out of the cocoon otherwise it wont properly develop the strength in his wings and he will be defective. He will never fly.
I've always been surrounded thank Gd by those who love me, support me and guide me. Now I'm alone. I'm coming out of my "cocoon." Its hard. Its painful. But that's what I need. That's the way its supposed to be.