it happened

What do you do when everything you worked for..everything you have put all your hopes and dreams into..everything you put your heart and soul into..is gone. 

The one thing i have been dreading..the theme of my nightmares...came to be. 

two years of schooling, sleepless nights, missed wedding and family vacations
two years of loans..all thrown away with 4 simple words " you have been dismissed" 

what do you do then? do you fall apart? soldier on? start over?

I was given a choice...start over or walk away?

After days of literally going crazy going back and forth, speaking to my adviser and my parents..coming up with nothing. How do i decide? How do i know what i am supposed to do? This is the rest of my life!

So I did the only thing i could think of-I called my Rav. 

Some would think me insane for making this decision based on one man's word. But the thing is..its not one man..its da'as Torah. Its not just his personal opinion. Its thousands of years of wisdom, hundreds of sefarim that contain all the hidden truths of this world.

Life is full of uncertainties. Full of difficult days and even more difficult nights. Things tend to get harder before they get easier. How can I ever know for sure?

The only thing that I can fully trust is that when you follow your Rav, your doing the right thing. When  someone is a Rav, he is given help.The Torah that he learns, the holiness that he has, the siyatta d'shmaya- the divine providence that he has..we are assured you cant go wrong. 

So my world may have been turned upside down...and I may have my doubts. Can i really do this? Am i really doing this? Seriously? Sitting in that classroom again..facing those teacher again? 

Its not easy. But i have to believe that this happened for a reason. Its  not gonna be an easy stretch, some days will be easier, some harder..some just will be 

But i am committed to this, and i truly believe that this is where Hashem wants me to be and this is what I am supposed to be doing. 

Good luck to me 

Comments

  1. N2May 28, 2013 at 5:12 PM

    sorry to hear this. It must be a though time for you.. "gam zeh letova" and be strong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sun inside RainMay 31, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    Oh wow, I am so sorry. Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. DevorahJune 6, 2013 at 7:26 PM

    OMG...that's really, really hard. (hug)
    Good for you that you have a Rabbi that you can ask...and wishing you so much hatzlacha with the next leg of your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  4. N2June 24, 2013 at 8:05 PM

    Hi Am:
    So, did you consult your Rabbi? What was his opinion?
    Wish you the best anyways...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aminspirationJune 25, 2013 at 12:56 PM

      He told me to start over..so thats what i am doing

      Delete
  5. N2June 26, 2013 at 1:30 AM

    Good Luck Am. Wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete

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