The Friendship Platform

So recently I read this book 
and it inspired me. 

I'm sure some of you have realized that I have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently. Some have even reached and and I greatly appreciate it that. 

A lot of my "sadness" for lack of better word stems from loneliness. A lack of friendship. Lack of relationship. Lack of connection. 

It is not good for man to be alone. Yes I am aware that this refers to ones marital state. No, I am not worried that I am not. Yes, I may be getting old, but that's a diff story. 

Moving on. 
In this book, the protagonist is a woman who find herself moving away from all her friends and loved ones to be with her husband. She finds herself for the first time in her life without a BFF. No one to call for a last minute mani-pedi, No one to gossip with or share her frustrations. She misses her old friends and tries to keep in touch but its just not the same. Anyone with a long-distance friend knows..you miss the birthdays, the sad days, the triumphs..you can share it via phone but its just not the same. 

anyways, so she decided that she is going to take matters into her own hands and decides that she will be going on 52 "girl dates" for a year. one a week in hopes of finding a new BFF. She goes through all kinds of means of finding a new friend. It really is fascinating.
 She starts a blog
  takes out an ad in the local paper
joins a cooking class
joins an improv class
hires a friend-broker
rent-a friend
speed-friend-dating..
among others

When i read this book, i was inspired yet frustrated at the same time. Being frum really limits your friend pool. I would love to join a cooking class, but where will i find a kosher one? 
take out an ad? talk about bad for shidduchim
speed-friend dating?  have you seen anything like this in the frum world?
someone suggested going to a shiur- but alas those usually occur at night and I'm in class :( 

so i was trying to brainstorm a way to do this. 
A way to find local friends to just hang out with. It doesn't necessarily have to be my new BFF, but just a circle of friends. People to spend shabbat with, people to hang out with Sat night or Sunday night. 

Yes, I know this sounds a little desperate. however, like the author of the book, feel like I'm probably not the only one. As we get older, and our friends join the marrieds ...or if you are like me and moved to NY later on and don't really yet have a circle of friends here..whatever it is I'm willing to bet that I am not the only one in this situation. You can tell me if you know otherwise. 

All that being said..i hereby am asking the blogger community at large for help. for ideas. 
what do you think i should do? What have you done in the past?
I am opening myself up. 
You wont know if you don't ask...
so I'm asking. 

Comments

  1. I never had much success with friends, in general. In high school I had maybe one friendship, but it wasn't really ideal. Many times I would make myself vulnerable in my eagerness to make friends, only to be shot down. After I left school and I no longer had to make do with a classroom of girls that I was stuck with at random, I found that spending time with certain people made me aggravated, whereas left alone in my own company I was sometimes lonely, but that state was better than being "mistreated" by another.

    By accident, I met a girl about a year ago at a wedding—she and I were seated by the same table, and we totally hit it off. We happen to be very alike in a number of ways, and we share similar backgrounds. It was great. I'm saying "was" because iy"H she'll be a married soon, and then back to the drawing board.

    I'm not in the same situation as you because I live at home—my parents are my best friends, and so are my siblings.

    But, I wasn't actively seeking my friend when I found her. She just . . . appeared. I think with true friends it is very much bashert as a spouse; they can truly be min hashamayim. Don't go out there with too high expectations, just plan to enjoy yourself, and if someone appears, all the better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. unfortunately, ive been waiting for about three years now and nothing has happened thats why i feel like its time to take matters into my own hands :)
      but in terms of high expectations..i know better than that

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  2. And re another post of yours: You are completely validated:

    http://www.vosizneias.com/154137/2014/02/04/new-york-the-tenets-of-our-faith-or-our-children-must-we-choose/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) its like i was reading my own thoughts exactly...thanks

      Delete
  3. Have you guys hung out (is that right??) together? I follow both of your blogs, and it seems you might provide each other good company.

    ReplyDelete

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