activity 4- detachment

So this chapter is all about detachment. and this is one of the hardest things that i struggle with. I have to repeat over and over in my head- this is not my problem to fix.

ideally, detachment is releasing, or detaching from a person or problem in love. we mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically disengage ourselves from unhealthy entanglements with another person's life and responsibilities and from problems we cannot solve.

is there a problem or person in your life that you are excessively worried about? how do you feel about detaching from that problem?

so this is a problem that i inherited from my parents; making other people's problems my problems.

and this is what happened in my last relationships. i make it my responsibility to fix all issues. i make it my problem when she didn't pass her class, needed someone to move her. i try to brainstorm how i can pretzel my life so i can fix problems that no one asked me to fix. yet, somehow i insert myself. and i tell myself that it is because i am a nice person, because i care, but the truth is that i want to be needed. i want to be valuable. i want to prove myself. i dont trust that my company is enough. that i am enough. so i have to make myself Indispensable. 

so how do i feel about detaching? its terrifying. what if that means i am left alone. what if they see that i dont have much to offer, i am not that interesting. what if they decide that i am simply not enough? 

of course intellectually i understand and i know that if me, myself and I is not enough for someone then i am better off without them. that is easier said than done. everyone says its better to be alone that to be in a toxic relationship...and yes i agree with that on an intellectual basis. however, when you spend the upteenth night alone and there is no one to hold you when your crying, no one to make you soup when your sick...it kinda sucks and makes you crave that relationship however codependant and toxic it was. 

there really isnt much for to say on this topic. its just something that i have to remind myself over and over again. something i need to practice.