AM Inspiration

Today is day three of vacation. No school. I can sleep in late and not feel guilty. I was recently complaining to just about everyone how desperately i needed a vacation. G-d answered. Baruch Hashem i was not really hit by Sandy's wrath. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and its finally legit cold. I can break out the boots, the scarves and the hats :) That makes me happy. I know that my posts lately have been a little depressing you could say. I have gotten a few worried emails. Life is hard. School is hard. That is the way its suppose to be. No one ever pretends that life will be easy. Its a fight. Against ourselves; our emotions, our habits, against inertia. Making the right choice, deciding what is exactly the right choice in that moment, deciding to continue making the right choice when its not really what you  want  is difficult to say the least. The key to making it in this crazy messed up world is to surround you with people you love yo...

I haven't posted in a while because I cant seem to summon the energy to do anything.  Typically, posting isnt difficult for me.  The words usually run faster than i can get them down.  Usually after hard things, emotional things happen, I run here, get it off my chest and I'm good.  But I cant even do that anymore. I don't have any words left. No tears left. no emotions left.  I'm just done. Done with school. Done with the grey. Done with being inside.  I have what they call a blunt affect. Nothing interests me. Not food, not drink, not music, not movies or TV, not school.  Nothing.  The only thing that interests me is sleep. But you cant sleep your life away.  Gotta fake it till you make. You have to keep going, keep pushing.  Just gotta take the coffee and keep pushing. Keep walking. Hope this passes soon. 

So normally this is the kind of thing i would talk out with my friends...but seeing as those seem to be a rare commodity these days... I have met very few guys who i have actually liked actually thought about after the date was over...none remembered their name...very few There are few correlations between the few guys I actually liked A. We talked - really talked B. Inappropriate for marriage , great boyfriend material just not someone I could marry. I like to talk. I think when you discuss things with people you really connect with them. When was the last time I discussed anything real on a date... Can't remember Why is it? Why is it that the guys that I actually connect with are never guys I could feasibly have a future with?!! This is such a weird feeling. The only way I could describe it, as childish as it sounds- I'm actually embarrassed, I have a crush. For the second time in my life I have a crush. I'm hoping it blows over soon. It's a really s...

Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.  this is someting that i live by when im in a bad mood if i can get myself to work out  its a 180 change