AM Inspiration

Hashem hardened Pharaoh's heart. It was considered a most severe punishment because he was no longer allowed access to the greatest gift G-d gave mankind- teshuva. He was not able to repent for he was not able to regret his actions. Walking the streets of NY I think that I may be hardening my own heart and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Day after day I walk by people begging on the sidewalk, I ignore the pathetic mother walking with her two year-old in tow as she says she has no papers no job no money and could I please spare some change. These moments are hard. Today... I gave an old man a water bottle I didn't need. He was outside and no one should suffer that kind of heat. So maybe I'm not so hardened. But maybe I need to be. I don't give of myself so easily... But when I do- I give myself completely to the person. I leave myself vulnerable. Yes it allows for a deeper more real relationship but it also means that I open myself up to more disappointment an

A long time ago, I watched the The   Jett Jackson Movie. Yes i was a Disney Channel junkie. For those who haven't seen it, which I am assuming is most people, the bad guy is basically stealing cities from earth and putting them into his world. First New York City disappears and then Chicago, LA..etc. Dr. Kragg (the bad guy) occasionally looks into his world, through his peep hole, checking in on his world.  This is how I feel our world is. We are going about our daily lives, doing the things we do. We have our conversations, our tears, our laughter. We shop, we eat, we sleep. But none of this is real. This is not the true life. Lately, I've been more aware than ever of this. I walk around and i try my best to do what it is that i am supposed to, yet it just seems so meaningless.  I find myself constantly asking myself " what is it exactly that Gd wants from me? Why am I here?" Sure, the Torah gives us guidelines. We have rules that we have to follow. We have a

I grew up outta town and only recently left. As a result my bais Yaakov education differ vastly from the "typical" BY school Shocked commented on my last post that perhaps the shidduch crisis is our fault. We feed into it. We perpetuate unreasonable expectation and inane priorities. It's true. Too often girls don't know why they want. They get fed in seminary that Kollel is the only way to go. They are raised that if u look a certain way then you are frum otherwise-Hashem Yerachem I was listening to Rabbi Orlofsky  a while ago and he made a seminal point " don't be frum be kadosh" And I think that makes all the difference. Rabbi Kelemen has a story about his son. His son was nicknamed "kadosh" one day on a long bus ride from Yerushalayim to Netanya three yr old "kadosh" needed to go to the bathroom ten minutes into the ride. It was an express bus and was stopping for nothing and no one. They managed to get to Netanya and raced