AM Inspiration

I don't usually write about anything Shidduch related. But I saw this today and it really captures how I view shidduchim. People have their theories and opinions about how and why and what. If i get my nose done, go to singles events, make more contacts, anything, then maybe I'll get married sooner. Compromise more. Maybe we need more incentives for shadchanim? My theory.  G-d runs the world. He makes Shidduchim. G-d has no crisis. The end.

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger well...I'm done being strong. I'm done pretending like I'm whole.  I can't anymore. I'm done trying to patch myself up again tired of being tested tired tired of being strong I'm not strong I can't do it anymore one more test and i may break one more test i think i may run so please don't test my strength

Pesach night was our engagement. We celebrated with wine and meat for 8 days. Shavuot will be the wedding. We will again take an oath to cherish and protect the mitzvot. We will once again accept upon ourselves G-d as our King, the Torah as our guide to life. Once again. It seems a bit repetitive doesn't it? Judaism? We do the same thing over and over again. We say the same prayers three times a day. We do the same mitzvot mostly on a daily basis. We have Shabbat every week, same prayers, same tunes, same food mostly. Then come the holidays. Every year exactly the same as the one before it. The brisket is succulent as always. The succah is decorated just so. The same cheese cake shavuot morning. Yom Kippur we repeat our sins over and over again, Vidui X 10, year after year. You would think that we got it. Been there, done that. Why is it that there is so much repetition. There is such a thing as intended repetition. Its repeated over and over so that hopefully you will eventual

There are few emotions less disheartening than loneliness. Worse than loneliness is being lost and lonely.  We are deep withing galus. Sometimes we feel it and sometimes we don't. When life is going well, everything according to plan, we do not tend to sit and contemplate. Its those moments when you are tired, can't get a seat on the subway and its raining that we start thinking. I do anyways.  Lately, I have felt like the proverbial wondering Jew. Without direction. My spiritual life has been severely lacking. My days are consumed with studying. The few minutes break I get, I'm inclined to do something mind numbing. Nothing that requires me to use my brain. That usually means YouTube. When I was at home, no matter how crazy my week was, I could count Shabbat as my spiritual recharge, I went to shul shabbat morning for the sermon, went to tehillim in the afternoon and a shiur before Mincha. Seudat Shlishi I caught up with my friends. Shabbat kept me focused and stron