pushing the limit

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

well...I'm done being strong.

I'm done pretending like I'm whole.

 I can't anymore.

I'm done trying to patch myself up again

tired of being tested

tired

tired of being strong

I'm not strong

I can't do it anymore

one more test and i may break

one more test

i think i may run

so please

don't test my strength

Comments

  1. Defying GravityMay 9, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    Seems like you are going through a hard time...I'm truly sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. NMay 9, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    I wrote a whole response and I don't know where it went!!

    I do not the details of your particular situation...but we have all experienced that moment when we feel the world crumbling in front of our eyes. Its as if from every angle, our hopes and dreams are fading...to put simply, it sucks, it hurts...its scary.

    Though you did not ask for advice, I suggest two things which I've done in trying times:

    1. Talk to Hashem. You want to cry? You want to scream? DO IT! I personally like writing letters to Hashem, I put some music that elevates me and I just write till there is nothing left to write. Sometimes I write 8 pages and realize what was really bothering me or what it really was that I was scared of.

    2. Count your blessings. Though things are tough right now, there is still a lot of good in your life. Look for it, see it, and thank Hashem for it :)

    May Hashem give you strength and wisdom to overcome every challenge!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yedid NefeshMay 13, 2012 at 1:59 AM

    Hey, I havent been on blog for a while but to be back and be reading this makes me sad. i hope that whatever it is you are going through will get better for you? maybe write about it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. aminspirationMay 13, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    DG- thanks, i appreciate it

    ZP-thanks, i do that at times, BH its just the shadows in the sunny day.

    YN-welcome back, writing is definitely my vice, its one of the reasons why i keep blogging. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. DevorahJune 6, 2012 at 7:50 PM

    I know this comment is a little late, but I still wanted to leave it anyway.
    I can totally identify with this.
    Sometimes things are so tough...it hurts...and you don't want to know how strong you are. You feel like falling apart, you feel like crumbling from all the challenges...
    (hug)
    Hold on tight...things will get better...they can't be this way for long.
    Sometimes there's nothing to do but talk to yourself and say, "I am strong. I don't know how I can do this. It feels like too much. But I will be strong and try my hardest and my best."
    I went through something once that made me feel like I would crumble. I didn't think it was something I would be able to deal with...and I guess Hashem knew I couldn't because the challenge I saw looming ahead disappeared...and I didn't have to deal with what I thought would be impossible for me. I felt like collapsing just by the thought of all of it...and BH it got better and things changed...
    Wishing you the strength to face your challenges and the ability to deal with them properly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aminspirationJune 10, 2012 at 12:48 PM

      thanks so much for taking the time to comment
      BH its the circle of life, i try to take it one day at a time
      just remember G-d loves you!

      Delete
    2. DevorahJune 11, 2012 at 11:13 AM

      I doubt it's easy...but one day at a time is the way to go. I heard this great quote, "Yard by yard it's hard, inch by inch it's a cinch." I love it. It's my new fave quote!

      Delete

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