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Showing posts from August, 2012

Indifference

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in·dif·fer·ent    [in-dif-er-uhnt, -dif-ruhnt] adjective 1.without interest or concern; not caring; apathetic: his indifferent attitude toward the suffering of others. 2. impartial; disinterested. 3.neither good nor bad in character or quality; average; routine: an indifferent specimen. 4.not particularly good, important, etc.; unremarkable; unnotable: an indifferent success; an indifferent performance. Indifference is scary. To be so apathetic that nothing matters anymore is ironically quite pathetic. I think I realize what (one of ) my issue  is. I've given up. I'm indifferent. I am no longer passionate about growing about becoming closer to Hashem. The details, the aidelkeit- the refinement of Judaism that I worked so hard to learn appreciate and to some aspect achieve is lost. I'm back to the bare bones. I daven when I'm supposed to and wear the right clothes but I've lost the sense of delicacy and refinement that is so seminal to growth of a Ba

Age Old Question

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? Are bloggers born or cultivated? I was sitting on my front step as i usually do in the mornings and i watch while i study. I observe. I see the spot where every single dog stops..till their owner pulls them away. I have a running commentary in my head. I always have a running commentary. On the subway. While I'm trying to fall asleep; all the things i don't say... and i was wondering, was i always like this? I know that i have a tendency to over-analyze. I don't know if i was born like this, or something that i have cultivated? Does blogging stimulate or "exacerbate" my need to comment on everything that i see? Or are we bloggers born with this urge to comment, analyze, dissect and share and blogger.com (or wordpress) simply give us an outlet. Another thing i have been wondering about-what is with this explosion of ways to announce what i am thinking? First it was email status, FB, twitter, signature lines, googl