Judge a Book by its Cover..yes or no?

al  tistakel be'kankan ela bema sheyaish bo

dont look at the vessel rather what is inside

It is  a well known Chazal, don't judge a book by its cover. we are urged to look beyond the obvious, beyond the externals and see what lies beneath the surface. Easier said than done granted, it is something that is expected of us. We are commanded to judge our fellow favorably. When we see someone eating a cheeseburger we are to assume he has an ulcer and has no other choice. We are instructed to look past what seems to be staring us in the face and dig down deeper and see what we can find. 

This concept also comes to light in the realm of Torah study. We are encouraged to delve, seek and ask. We are not to take the words at face value and accept them as such, rather to push the limits, and question every word and phrase. We don't believe that what you see is what you get, rather what you see is just the beginning of the journey. 

Paradoxically, we have the idea of clothes make the man. Our outsides should reflect our insides. Every BY girl has probably heard that waaay too ofren. We are told that we are special inside and that light should shine through to our outsides. This does not only refer to clothing but to to our actions as well as everything we do. 

As a Klal we are told to be careful of the perception we create for ourselves. We have the concept of "ma'arat ayin" we have to be careful that what we do does not cause people to think ill of us. This means that although what i am doing is completely alright..if it looks dodgy..we should stay away. (Within the realms of halacha of course) 

My friend's phone died last night, after one fall too many it has returned to cell phone heaven. The conundrum is that it looks perfectly fine, you would never know..but try to turn it on and the lack of screen will be glaringly obvious. 

So that obviously was what inspired the idea of this post. But what occurred to me was the following:

what is worse something ugly masquerading as beautiful or something beautiful hiding within the costume of something broken and torn. 

There are unfortunately so many "frum" people today who simply look the part..they go through the motions, they know precisely what to do and what to say to get through without ever raising an eyebrow. Yet. inside there is darkness, there is lacking. They don't believe what they say, they are walking the walk and talking the talk but they are not feeling the feeling. 

And then, there are people like my Sunday school kids. Some of them, you couldn't tell they were Jewish ever. Some of them go to schools during the week where its normal to punch out the next kid simply because that's self defense. But then they light up, their insides are pure as they strive to find some meaning in this crazy mixed up world. They don't walk the walk or talk the talk but they feel the feeling! 

Too often, people like this get overlooked and dismissed. In both categories. The people who look frum, everyone assumes they are good and never bother to check if the assumption is right. Too often a FFB is faced with questions and he/she never has the proper outlet to ask so they just sit and simmer and stew..getting stronger as the years go by creating more and more toxins. The kids who have it the light hiding..if it is not fed and made stronger it only gets weaker..and dimmer..it never dies but it does get harder and harder to access the further down it gets buried beneath the shmutz of daily life. 

so is one better or worse? i don't know..what do you think?

how do we reconcile these two concepts? I think the answer may be as follows. When it comes to dealing with ourselves and the choices we make in our lives we should strive as much as possible to make the two match. The goal should be to have the outside completely reflect the inside. However when it comes to others, we should look beyond and explore beyond the surface..a dig down deeper..