Rebuilding
Things don't always come out the way you want.
You envision an entire outfit and you get all excited..til you try it and you realize that its a no go. Try again.
An artist is working on a painting..for weeks and months..and then all of a sudden it hits him-this is not working. He rips it up, wipes the canvas clean.
Its been a whole year. A year of success and failures Highs and lows. Lots of plateaus.
Its hard, to come to judgment day. In my siddur i had a list of things that i wanted to correct, i could maybe cross off two things off that that list. It was written in 2004. That's a long time ago very little change.
Yes, Gd cares about quality not quantity. But there has to be a reason that so little change has happened in such a long time.
When a building is crooked, no matter how much u try to explain it away..its not going to correct itself. You need to tear the building down, go back to the foundation. Refocus, Regroup and Rebuild.
My first semester of PA school i was completely scattered. I did not know how to deal with the studying. I studied the way i did in High School i crammed and did exceedingly well. That doesn't work in PA school. I had to regroup how i studied, how i approached the information and thank Gd I am doing much better,
The same tactic can be applied to anything that is not "working."
Perhaps, the way i am approaching changing my middos, changing my habits, my negative thoughts is incorrect. I need to break it down to the core. Start at the source.
Why is it that I feel the need to behave this way? Why do i react the way i do? Maybe if we can answer these questions, we can make real lasting changes.
Gmar Chatima Tova
You envision an entire outfit and you get all excited..til you try it and you realize that its a no go. Try again.
An artist is working on a painting..for weeks and months..and then all of a sudden it hits him-this is not working. He rips it up, wipes the canvas clean.
Its been a whole year. A year of success and failures Highs and lows. Lots of plateaus.
Its hard, to come to judgment day. In my siddur i had a list of things that i wanted to correct, i could maybe cross off two things off that that list. It was written in 2004. That's a long time ago very little change.
Yes, Gd cares about quality not quantity. But there has to be a reason that so little change has happened in such a long time.
When a building is crooked, no matter how much u try to explain it away..its not going to correct itself. You need to tear the building down, go back to the foundation. Refocus, Regroup and Rebuild.
My first semester of PA school i was completely scattered. I did not know how to deal with the studying. I studied the way i did in High School i crammed and did exceedingly well. That doesn't work in PA school. I had to regroup how i studied, how i approached the information and thank Gd I am doing much better,
The same tactic can be applied to anything that is not "working."
Perhaps, the way i am approaching changing my middos, changing my habits, my negative thoughts is incorrect. I need to break it down to the core. Start at the source.
Why is it that I feel the need to behave this way? Why do i react the way i do? Maybe if we can answer these questions, we can make real lasting changes.
Gmar Chatima Tova
Wow! 2 things crossed off, that's pretty good. Amongst other things, check out the quote of Rabbi Yisroel Salanter (about 1/3 down the page):
ReplyDeletehttp://www.shemayisrael.com/rabbiforsythe/personalgrowth/personal.htm
thanks!
ReplyDeletethe article was great
You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteI was listening to the 2nd shiur over here (the 1st by Rav Griper):
http://www.kolhalashon.com/New/SearchResults.aspx?Lang=English&English=True&SearchValue=shidduch&InCall=True
and he mentioned that quote. I thought it was so good that I googled it and found the Shema Yisrael webpage. Maybe one of these days I will finish listening to the whole shiur and possibly the other ones as well.
Hatzlachah Rabbah in all of your endeavors and keep up the inspiring work.
one of these days...ah..that sounds familiar
ReplyDelete