All over again
Today was my first day back. Orientation for PA school again. Sitting with fresh faces all excited to start on this amazing adventure that will allow us to help people in the best way possible. and then there is me. sitting there all cynical. Cant wait for this to end.
Its been a rush of emotions. I have been dreading sitting in the same desk, listening to the same professors, but at the same time so sure that this is so bashert and so sure that this is what I am supposed to be doing.
The emotions i have been going through the past few weeks are hard to describe. I was doing summer camp doing what i love with the cutest kids of all time - having an absolute blast but the whole time thinking how in a few short days i will be back in the classroom to do take 2 of PA school.
Rosh Hashana is a few short weeks away. Elul is a time of contemplation and inner work. The common theme of all the shiurim that I have been listening to recently is the importance of talking to G-d; having a relationship with Him. No matter how hard the days get, and no matter how difficult our lives seem to be, the only one we can turn to unconditionally is G-d, our Father in Heaven.
I recently read in R' Pincus's sefer that one of the main reasons that we have suffering in this life is so that we reach out to Him. I know that may be hard to hear and that not everyone agrees with that, but R' Pincus says if we voluntarily turned to G-d in our times of joy then there would be no need to for the suffering to bring us closer to Him.
I know that for myself, these days I am finding that I have fewer and fewer people to talk to about my life and my struggles. So i turn to my Father and I talk to Him.
I may not be as prepared as I should be for my upcoming court day. I may not be anywhere near perfect. But i know that at least i have a relationship with the Judge. He is not a stranger. and for now... that is a step
Its been a rush of emotions. I have been dreading sitting in the same desk, listening to the same professors, but at the same time so sure that this is so bashert and so sure that this is what I am supposed to be doing.
The emotions i have been going through the past few weeks are hard to describe. I was doing summer camp doing what i love with the cutest kids of all time - having an absolute blast but the whole time thinking how in a few short days i will be back in the classroom to do take 2 of PA school.
Rosh Hashana is a few short weeks away. Elul is a time of contemplation and inner work. The common theme of all the shiurim that I have been listening to recently is the importance of talking to G-d; having a relationship with Him. No matter how hard the days get, and no matter how difficult our lives seem to be, the only one we can turn to unconditionally is G-d, our Father in Heaven.
I recently read in R' Pincus's sefer that one of the main reasons that we have suffering in this life is so that we reach out to Him. I know that may be hard to hear and that not everyone agrees with that, but R' Pincus says if we voluntarily turned to G-d in our times of joy then there would be no need to for the suffering to bring us closer to Him.
I know that for myself, these days I am finding that I have fewer and fewer people to talk to about my life and my struggles. So i turn to my Father and I talk to Him.
I may not be as prepared as I should be for my upcoming court day. I may not be anywhere near perfect. But i know that at least i have a relationship with the Judge. He is not a stranger. and for now... that is a step
Sorry to hear about your struggles. May Hashem grant you everything that brings you happiness for the upcoming year. Thank you for the chizuk, hopefully I can put it to good use and strengthen my kavannah during davening.
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