Ani Choma

Hey ya'll. its crazy shabbat is so early these days, there is no time for anything! I dont know if ya'll remember the speech Rabbi Kelemen gave about being a choma(wall). My morning seder today remindede me of that speech, why you may ask.. well cuz the sefer brought down the quote from shir hashirim" if she is unmoving like a wall, we will build upon her a turet of silver, but if she wavers like a door we will enlose her with a cedar panel."
The basic gist of this concept is that we have to make ourselves like a choma, Avraham is described as "a neeman"and it says taht Hashem can build a whole world on Avraham. can you build a whole world on a door? i dont think so( come on guys that was an easy one keep up, i promise they'll get harder) avraham was a choma, am unbreakable wall, a foundation that is strong without the tiniest crack. if there was hairsbreadth of a creack in avraham's wall, then do you think we would be standing here today? (next chance, the million dollar question coming up soon!) all it takes is a small crack in the foundation to bring an entire structure tumbling down.
Being a neeman by definition entails being a wall, without any cracks. We all know that when a bone breaks, it is that much stronger when it heals, the same applies to us spiritually. when we fall, our renewed conviction to fix it so strong and so pure that it pushes us pass our original point before we cracked. we have gone to rehab, boot camp and its now better than new. I dont believe that it is possible to have a wall without a few patches. Besides, the patches are what make it unique, it shows the human in you. (no you are not a deity) it makes it your wall. But, as we are builidng our wall, we have to keep in mind what exacty what causes those cracks, what is it exacly that move us. is it our anger, what is it that distracts us from the truth that we all know exactly. You've learned mesilas yehsarim, bederch HAshem, all the mussar sefarim. you've even dabbled in gemara. we know the reality, however, we choose to ignore the facts, bcz we feel like doing whatever it is.
the yetzer hara tries to convince you that its what yoiu want, but come on man, we really need to learn to distinguish teh voices ( we all know u hear them it doesnt nessisarily mean your pysho)Just as we need to know where we are movable, it is just as crucial if not more to know where you STAND! and once you establish that you cannot let that foundation that you worked so hard to build, splinter. that is your wall, and you have to take pride in it and do not let anyone mock you, or bully you into taking it down. That is you REALITY! the point at which you stand which nothing shakes you... taht is your reality. and that is how much of a world can be built on you, Avraham's wall was so strong that an entire world could be built on it. So here is the million dollar question i promised ya: How strong is your wall?

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